I’m 20-years-old and, at my age, my mother had a three-and-a-half-year-old. Let me be the first to say that it wasn’t always easy, and she deserves every award that there is to receive. I remember the first time I realized that having a young mom wasn’t “normal.” I was 6 years old and in the first grade. A boy asked if my mom was my sister. When I told him that she wasn’t, he asked our teacher how my mom was my mom if she didn’t look like any of the other mommies. Her response has stuck with me for the past 14 years. “Some people have babies when they aren’t ready. Most mommies and daddies wait until they’re old enough so that they can take good care of their babies.” I felt something that my little 6-year-old self hadn’t experienced before… shame. I asked myself, “Why did my Mommy have me then? Can she take good care of me?” I already felt different from a lot of the kids in my class because I didn’t live with both of my parents. It was just mom and me.
One of the first lessons I learned from having a teenage mother is that things aren’t always going to be easy, but if you put the extra work in, the end product will be worth it. Instead of going out with friends and being a typical 17-year-old, she doubled up on classes and graduated high school a year early. Throughout middle school, I spent a lot of nights alone at home because my mom worked day in and day out in order to provide for me. This did not teach me how to be alone, this taught me how to be independent. This taught me that you must sacrifice in order to build the life that you want.
Having a teenage mother taught me that, sometimes, it really is necessary to start from the bottom in order to get to the top. My mother is now a successful business owner, running one of the highest rated salons in the state of Maine. She started out doing nails in our dining room. Now she has her own salon, several employees and plans to expand into a full day spa. She did not get there by slacking off. She got there by working her butt off and not taking no for an answer. She taught me to never accept defeat.
By watching my mother, I learned that love is selfless. She taught me that a woman’s worth is the greatest thing she can understand. She taught me that not everyone has your best interest at heart, and that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes. She taught me that you should give your love only to the people who deserve it, and to always leave some behind for yourself. She taught me how to be brave, she taught me how to rise above other people’s negativity, and she taught me how to be an independent woman capable of loving herself. Having a teenage mother never once inhibited me, if anything it made me an even better person.
I wish I could go back to that little six-year-old self, look her in the eye, and say, “Your mommy is the most incredible woman in the entire world and there is no one who will ever take better care of you than she will.” And I wish I could go back to that narrow-minded, ignorant teacher and say, “Age does not define how good of a mother someone can be, and who are you to make me question that?”
So, to all the young women out there facing motherhood a little sooner than they were prepared to, you are not alone. You are strong, and you can do this.
And to my wonderful mother, thank you. You gave me life and so much more. I love you.
