It took what felt like forever to get to sophomore year after my freshman year was just feeling like skating on melting ice from the middle of the lake after nobody taught you how to ice skate. Uncomfortable, terrified, angst, etc.. It was awful. I almost felt like my best course was to just drop out and look for something else to do with my life. Going from someone who loved school to someone who dreaded waking up to go to classes later that day, it was a massive swing in mentality. So…now that my sophomore year, first semester is pretty much over I wanted to write this because while I’ve learned a lot…something sticks out to me more than anything.
Simply put: just because something isn’t working out early on doesn’t mean it’s time to throw in the towel, it just takes more time for things to come together sometimes. Sure, I’ve switched my major a lot and to be honest: I wanted to give up and drop out in my freshman year because I was so frustrated and wanted to run away from it all. It reminded me of something though, my freshman year of high school I spoke to my teacher about leaving the school because I felt like I was going to go crazy. The other students didn't like me, the projects were annoying (redraw ancient Greece on a map); typical high school work. My teacher looked me dead in my eyes and I’ll never forget our interaction when he began, “You can’t run every time it seems tough, you’ll never learn anything if you do.”
I replied, “I just can’t adjust to this.”
He laughed, his hardy chuckle bellowing in his tiny, shared office with all glass walls and gathered himself, “Don’t tell me what you can’t do…tell me what you can do.” I was sent out. For hours I pondered it, thought about what he said and wondered what I could do. What had I done before? I moved across the country, went through culture shock and still made it out semi-decent; in a world renowned high school, with amazing people mostly unlike what I’d met before in my other years in school while in San Diego. I learned to rap. I could somewhat break dance. I could make friends well enough. I can adjust to my new situation if I give it time.
Sometimes we have to relearn something and it takes time. My freshman year of college was a lot like my freshman year of high school:
- -Wanting to leave because it was tough
- -Profound anger and sadness
- -Unsure what to do if it didn’t work out
There are parallels between the two, at a point I wondered to myself, “what can I do?” Now…in my sophomore year as a person who: a. loves his major b. isn’t constantly freaking out anymore and c. enjoys college life finally. It was that one question, “what can I do?” that drove me to solve the answer, late nights and early mornings to discern it. I can adjust. I have to learn what I’m struggling with, why I’m struggling with it and make the appropriate adjustments to place myself in a better position to succeed.
So what did I learn this semester: take my time to solve it if that’s what it takes. Sometimes the brash move isn’t best, especially not in a fit of emotion. I’ve made brash decisions this semester that worked out (dropping Business and going to Sociology as a major within week one of school), but I could’ve made a brash decision that could’ve been awful…I wouldn’t be a sociology major writing this paper. I’d probably be a failing YouTuber or a WalMart cashier. I didn’t want that, I don’t want that. With all of this said…it’s finals week, so make the most of your last week and embrace the growth opportunity.
