Not too long ago, I started to feel down about myself. I always felt awkward. Like the kind of awkward you feel when you walk into the wrong class and you can't really leave because the professor is lecturing. AWKWARD. Yes, this has happened to me and, yes, this is how I used to feel majority of the time. After a while, I just got so fed up with feeling uncomfortable and awkward all the time. That's when I decided I needed to have a new perspective on how I view myself and others. Here are five tips that have helped me feel comfortable in my own skin:
1. Don't care what other people say/think about you:
I know this one is hard, I think we all secretly want everyone to like us but the truth is not everyone does and that is OK. I have come to accept this. I realized that the only opinion of me that I care about is my own and those who are close to me. What everyone else says or thinks is not important.
2. Surround yourself with positive people:
I think one of the reasons I have felt uncomfortable in my own skin is because of the people I was hanging out with. Your friends should be people who support you, not knock you down. There is no reason to have toxic people in your life. I started to feel a lot better about myself when I got rid of these people.
3. Be kind:
"Be kind to others and you will receive kindness back" is what my fortune cookie read one time after ordering some late night chicken lo mein. I usually don't pay too much attention to the fortune inside but for some reason, this one stuck with me. I had already set in motion the first two points of feeling comfortable in my own skin, so why not try this also. Since I started being kinder towards people, whether it was helping out a family member or just saying hello, I really started to feel better.
4. Write a list:
I started to do this at the beginning of January. I started to write down things that made me happy, whether it was brunch or reading a good book, I wrote it all down. I then decided that throughout this year, I would take the time from my busy schedule to do any of the things that make me happy, at least once a week. I then proceeded to write down things that I want to do this year, whether it be running a half marathon to "finding a big girl job," I decided that I wanted to complete everything off of my list. Having this list has been great because one, who doesn't love crossing things off of a list, and two, I feel like I have really accomplished something just for myself every time I do something on my list.
5. Live your life for yourself and no one else:
At the end of the day, the only person that is there for you is yourself, so it's extremely important that you live your life the way you want to live it. I have a few friends that have fallen into a rut where they're unhappy doing what they are doing. I ask them "why are you doing this" and they tell me "because parents, family, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc." Basically, they're making themselves unhappy to please someone else. The thing is though, your happiness is the most important. Do not do things that make you unhappy, the people that you are trying to please will understand. It's your life, so live it how you want to.
Being comfortable in my own skin took time, it's not something that happens overnight. However, the tips listed above have really helped me over the years to be comfortable with who I am, and to those who are struggling to accept themselves I hope it helps you, too.
