Although it's almost a cliche to say, 2020 has been a crazy year. It's been crazy, different and really weird. But despite the fact that this has been a crazy year, I feel like I've learned more in a year than I ever had before. This is definitely due to everything going on in the world and America, but it also has a lot to do with things I've been dealing with in my personal life. Some of which I have gone through myself, and others I've seen people in my life go through. I've been compiling this list for a while, and regardless of where it all came from, I thought it could be helpful to share. So here a couple of things I learned in 2020:
Some things aren't meant to last.
Sometimes, things or people are put in your life for a temporary time, and it's normally to teach you a lesson. This year, I had two different people in my life that I thought would be in my life till the day I die. And now, I don't remember the last time I talked to either of them. It hurt losing them, but I'm glad those things didn't last. I can appreciate the time we had together, but I'm happy they're not in my life anymore.
Getting your heart broken will hurt, but it won’t kill you.
This year, I experienced my first heartbreak. My ex-boyfriend and I had been together for a little over a year and a half, and a couple days before my birthday, we broke up. I felt shattered, and like nothing meant anything anymore. It was awful. However, I made it through. SUre there were some nights when I would wish I just didn't exist, but I made it. It took about a month of hating my life, but I lived. My first heartbreak was fucking horrible, but it definitely taught me that I can get through things, even if it feels like I can't.
Sometimes bad decisions make great memories.
Sometimes we do things that are stupid and embarssaing or even dangerous. What I've realized this year however though, is sometimes, some of those stupid things make awesome memories. For instance, a couple months ago, I matched with a guy on tinder, and we went out that night. I knew absolutely nothing about him, but hey, I was bored. Anyways, it turns out he was a pilot and he flew us around the city. He 100% could have kidnapped me put me into sex trafficking, but fortunately that didn't happen. So while it was definitely a bad idea to let some random man take me up in his plane, it made for a good memory, and we even dated for a couple weeks after.
Watching a movie and cuddling doesn’t mean watching a movie and cuddling.
Before my ex and I broke up, I'd basically been in a relationship since I was 15, so dating was a completely new thing to me. Which is when I learned that no boy who actually likes you is going to ask you to come over and "watch a movie and cuddle." If he really likes you, he'll pick you up and take you to dinner. If he says he just wants to "watch a movie and cuddle," that's code for he just wants to fuck you. It's just the truth. I know, it sucks.
Friends are the most important thing.
In the past, I used to prioritize boys over my friends. That is 100% not the case anymore. Relationships will come and go but, your friends are there forever. Having a good group of friends is so important, and prioritizing them over some relationship is mandatory. I would not have been able to get through this year if it hadn't been for my friends. These people have been there for me through absolutely everything, and I would do anything for them. They're the most important people in my life. To my friends (you know you who are,) I love you guys. Thank you for being the best.
Go to therapy.
A really important thing I learned this year is that therapy is so, so good for you. I've always known I needed therapy, however, I didn't go because for some reason I thought it made me weak. But that's just not the case. It's healthy to talk about your problems and get everything out. Even if you're not struggling with your mental health, I would definitely recommend therapy.
Confidence is everything.
Up until my breakup this year, I've had pretty shitty confidence. I always compare myself to everyone, and my self worth was based on how my ex treated me (which was normally bad). But after the breakup, I worked on myself and the way I talked to and treated myself, and it did wonders for my self confidence. I now love almost everything about myself, and even without someone else's approval, I think I'm beautiful. Real beauty stems from confidence, and that's a really helpful thing I've learned this year.
Being single isn’t that bad.
For the longest time, I was terrified of being single. I was so scared of not having that one person that I could always go to, or having to spend a lot of days by myself or going to things by myself. But it honestly, is not that bad. It's actually kind of great. When you're not constantly with someone, you have time to figure out who you really are and do things that you actually enjoy doing. YOu become more okay going to other people and spending time alone and going to things by yourself. It's definitely a process, but once you're through it, it's great.
Your parents aren’t always right.
I think I've been forced to grow up a lot this year, and a big part of growing up, is realizing that your parents are humans too. They make mistakes just like us. Sometimes they say and do things that they didn't really mean, or that they regret, just like everyone else. And even though we'd like to believe that they have all the answers to life's biggest questions, they just don't sometimes. And I had to realize that this year.
It’s okay to be dissatisfied with where you’re at in life.
This is a big thing I've had to come to terms with this year. As much as I would like to be living in my dream city in my dream apartment with my dream job and dream husband, that's not where I'm at in life right now. And as much as I want to be there, I have to get through this current stage in my life to get there first. I had to accept that while I'm not at the point I want to be at, I'm making the effort to get to that point, and that's what really matters.
Say sorry less, and say thank you more.
This is one of the biggest things I've learned this year, and it's made a big difference in my life. What I mean by saying sorry less, and saying thank you more is that you need to stop apologizing for little things (that most of the time aren't even your fault) and start saying thank you more. For instance, if you're ranting to your friend about an issue in your life, don't say, "Sorry for ranting to you." Instead, say "Thank you for listening to me." It's a very little change but it is a good one. Too often we (especially women) feel the need to apologize for literally just existing. And it's ridiculous. That's why switching out "sorry" for "thank you," can make a big difference.
It’s okay to be selfish sometimes.
It's okay to put yourself first sometimes. Especially when your mental health is struggling. I've had a crazy year in terms of mental health. But one thing I found that has helped me out a lot is being selfish sometimes. And that can be a lot of things. From saying things to hanging out or doing things I don't want to do, to just laying in bed and doing what I want to do for the day. You have to take care of yourself, and sometimes that means being a little bit selfish. It's good for you, and farther than that, it's almost necessary for you to do it in order to have good mental health.
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