Freshman year. It is definitely a hard year for most students, myself included. You are wrapped up in learning who you are in this world. You must figure out whether the beliefs you grew up with are truly yours or just your parents. You must decide what you will participate in and what you will say “no thank you” to. Most of these decisions are ones you never saw coming, or at least did not anticipate being difficult decisions. You have learned a lot this year, and not just academically. You have learned that God works in mysterious ways by using your weaknesses to challenge you and make you stronger. Although it is tiring, it is worth it. All the heartache and stress will pay off. Through my freshman year, here is what I believe have been the most important lessons God has taught me:

1. Getting up for class at 8 a.m. is not as easy as it was in high school

I signed up for 8 a.m.’s last semester and trust me when I say that is a mistake. I thought since I got up everyday at 6 for high school that I could easily get up at 7 for an 8 am. I was sadly mistaken. Maybe this is harder now because I stay up later or maybe because I’m more stressed so I need more sleep. Whatever the case is, next year I will not have any classes before 9:30.

2. It’s OK to spend time alone

I hate being alone. If you ask anyone who knows me well, they will agree. All of my friends first semester made fun of me because I couldn’t stand going to eat alone, or do anything alone for that matter. I have learned, though, to be at peace with being by myself. I never thought I’d say this but I actually enjoy my alone time now. I don’t feel lonely or depressed sitting in my dorm room alone anymore. It is relaxing and gives me plenty of time to focus on God and school, although sometimes I don’t always stay focused (a.k.a. Netflix). I spend a lot of time alone in the gym as well. This gives me lots of time to detox and refocus, especially when I’m anxious, which is a lot. Don’t get me wrong, I still would rather be with people than be alone, but being alone doesn’t scare me anymore.

3. Exercising really does lower stress

Like I just mentioned, I go to the gym a lot. Sometimes I go alone because I have to, but I find it much easier to be motivated when I have a workout buddy (usually my friend Simone or Sam). Going to the gym, I’ve noticed, makes me feel so much better. Not only about my body, but also emotionally and mentally. There have been plenty of times when the stress and emotions of the day have been too much for me and working out is the perfect solution. It not only gives me a chance to get out my frustrations and emotions through physical excursion, but it also detoxes my body and refreshes my mind. After working out, I am a lot more optimistic and carefree. After working out, I am the person I want to be all the time: happy and understanding. If you don’t do anything else, start exercising. Besides, summer is only a month away!

4. Friends come and go

This has been a more difficult and painful lesson to learn. Last semester I had two guy friends that I always hung out with. Some drama went down, partly my fault, and I no longer have those friendships. This is OK, though. I know God will bring the friends I need into my life. Not only that, but he will bring them when and how I need them. Each person he introduces me to will be able to teach me something new. This is a beautiful thing, which is why I cherish the friendships I have so deeply and am OK with the one’s that have faded away. God has a purpose for every person in my life. If they aren’t in my life anymore, then God’s purpose has been fulfilled.

5. Love is a choice

This is probably the hardest lesson I will ever learn. Love is not just a feeling, like society tells us. It is a choice. Once the initial “puppy love” fades away, two raw, vulnerable and broken people are all that’s left. Yes, of course there are still moments of intense passionate feelings and love so strong it brings tears to your eyes. But these moments don’t happen as often as they once did, but that’s OK. The “puppy love” phase isn’t supposed to last forever. Getting to know someone, with all their flaws and baggage, and deciding to love them anyways is what love really is. Love isn’t just about thinking someone is cute and fun to be around. It’s about wanting to stay with them even when times get rough and even when they don’t show their pretty side. Love is a choice. It is a choice to accept their flaws and mistakes and love them anyways. After all, this is how God loves us, and that is exactly how he calls us to love: unconditionally.

6. Keeping focus on God is essential

This year has honestly been very hard spiritually. The ups and downs of living away from home have taken their toll on me. Staying near to God has been hard. One of the only things keeping my eyes on him is RUF (Reformed University Fellowship), a campus ministry, and my “Jesus Calling” devotion book. I read a devotion every morning and write in a journal my prayers to God for that day. I don’t say this to brag. I say this because even with these things I still idolize things and turn away from God. It is hard to draw near to him sometimes, especially with all the distractions of college life.

This is when I have had to learn perseverance and patience. He has taught me not to lose hope just because I’m tired. I must keep pushing and be patient; every day is a new day. Every day is another chance to try again. I can’t be perfect, but I can be my best. The only way I can be my best, though, is by keeping God as my #1 priority. I have learned that talking to Him, as if to a friend, throughout the entire day deepens my relationship so much and brings more joy than you could ever imagine. And while I am still persevering, I will stand firm.

“Stand firm, and you will win life.”

Luke 21:19