We all know “that girl,” the girl people actually like. The girl who gets attention, from males and females alike. The girl who talks to everyone, and has a wonderful social life. The girl who is beautiful in every way, remains passionate and keeps up with seemingly endless responsibilities while keeping a smile on her face and her wits about her.

I have had two stages of transforming into that girl. The first was the summer before my sophomore year of high school. That year, I started getting a lot more attention from boys, mainly because my body had matured. It wasn’t until the second phase, just before my freshman year of college, that I began realizing what the real world would be like. Over the course of just three months, I would gather more responsibilities and stress than I had ever experienced before, and I would learn how to smile through it all.

In high school, attention came with negative consequences. Boys were simply boys, and girls would always fight with one another. I was, and continue to be, a social oddball, thriving in environments with the group of people I like to call theater kids. Even though I had found my niche, I was still able to contribute in other circles and was accepted in cliques throughout the school.

In college, I became that girl without even realizing it. An ex-boyfriend of mine called it “ugly duckling syndrome,” where I was still stuck in the mindset of a chubby fourth grader with glasses and short hair, but was living in a new world now. I remember telling a male friend of mine that I was never the pretty girl, and he would always call me a liar.

Without knowing it, I had indeed become that girl, and here is what I learned:

No one will ever love you like your family. No matter who I talked to or what I looked like, I was always that wonderful, beautiful, soul of a person to my Dad.

Let’s face it, boys kind of suck. And girls can too. But there isn’t a point in being catty and fake just because you like her hair or she likes your pants.

There is a fabulous, glorious piece of every person. God is an artist, and He is in the details. Don’t take advantage of people, and even when they’re on your nerves, remember that they taking part in their own journey and fighting their own fight. You can either choose to help them and be a part of it, or cast them aside and lead them to deal with the consequences.

You don’t have to affect everyone. You can choose to simply let them exist.

Being smart matters. You shouldn’t allow attention from other people to coax you into being dumb. Be bright and brilliant, because your light is what leads you in life.

Friendships are temporary. You will meet thousands of people and forget hundreds. You will love, live, laugh and learn, and it’s okay if you don’t hang on to your comrades forever. Thank them for the adventure and give them a place in your heart.

You can’t be close-minded. Allow yourself to experience new things and let your heart tell you where to go.

There is nothing you can’t accomplish with a little hope and a lot of hard work.

Find time in your days to do what you love. I know, you have a hundred other things to do, but take the 10 minutes to read or paint or whatever else it is that makes you happy.

You don’t have to settle.

And, most importantly, don’t forget where you came from. Don’t lose track of who taught you or why you believe what you believe. Don’t lose yourself in this huge, wonderful world full of possibilities, things, people and places to love.