What I Learned As An Artist Who Fell Out Of Love With Her Craft
Entertainment

What I Learned As An Artist Who Fell Out Of Love With Her Craft

"My passion was absent from something that I once used to define myself."

122
What I Learned As An Artist Who Fell Out Of Love With Her Craft
Hannah Olinger

I was eight when I wrote my first story. I was inspired by an encounter that I witnessed at an afterschool club. A girl at the club made fun of a boy because of what he brought for lunch that day. I had seen many altercations like this before; I braced myself and waited for the fight to break out, it never came. Instead, he calmly replied to her, “It’s better than nothing.”

At that time in my life, I didn’t understand that level of maturity; the boy’s response to the situation expressed a gratitude for being able to have a meal, something that would be a privilege to the many starving children who didn’t have one. It moved me to write a short story about it; that was the first time I put my emotions to paper.

That experience opened a literary world that I hadn’t known before. It was one that didn’t involve writing because I had to but because I wanted to. Soon, I took to reading, writing’s twin flame. Letting reading fuel me to write and writing fuel me to read, an endless cycle ensued. I read everything that came my way from "The Hunger Games," "Harry Potter," to "The Fault in Our Stars," to "Twilight." In front of me, endless possibilities of worlds that I could create, characters I could bring to life, and people I could move.

As I got older though, everything began to change. Writing and reading in school became more intensive. It didn’t matter that I was naturally good at writing anymore, especially while taking AP English courses that told me that my interpretations were wrong, or that the curtains weren’t just blue. It didn’t get any better when I got to college and soon enough I stopped writing and reading for myself entirely. My passion was absent from something that I once used to define myself. The only words I could manage stand were the ones that were not my own. I then tried to force myself back into it, thinking that I wasn’t trying hard enough, or that I didn’t want it enough. I tried starting where it all began, reading old stories that compelled me to write, writing prompts that I found on the internet. Nothing seemed to work.

It wasn’t until one day I was dealing with something in my life and writing the only way I could communicate my feelings. My writing wasn’t pretty or poetic, it was sloppy, raw, and unedited. But it was real. I realized then that I never fell out of love with writing in the first place, I had just lost the passionate emotions that had gone with it. I didn’t need to force myself back into my old writing and reading habits, I had to make new ones. I realized that I had grown, and in doing so, so did my writing. My interests changed and so did my art. Trying to approach writing with my old methods was like trying to become the person that I was once, like trying to go back in time.

I needed to relearn to do what I love most and for me that meant taking time, getting space, not keeping it as a constant solid foundation, and letting it change when I did. Being an artist is tricky. So much of ourselves are put into our work. Our art is like the parts of us we don’t reveal to others very often, but when we do, it is not easily forgotten. Art doesn’t always have to be so intense all the time, sometimes it just has to be a little gesture to let you know it’s there. It’s okay if it becomes something that you feel distant with as time passes, just like everything we love in life, if it meant for you, it will come back.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Swoon

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Everything You Need To Know About Macronutrients, Because A Diet Should Be More Than Calories

Pay attention to what you're eating, not just how much you're eating.

Plenty of people are familiar with the "calories in, calories out" (CICO) method of dieting which can be used for losing, gaining, or maintaining weight. This method relies on calculating a person's total daily energy expenditure (TDEE) to ensure that they are not overeating or undereating to achieve their desired weight. TDEE considers a person's height, weight, age, gender, and level of activity to determine what their caloric intake should be — some calculators can factor in body fat percentage as well. When I used a TDEE calculator online, it said that my TDEE would be 1,990 calories if I was trying to maintain my weight, but are all calories created equal? I'd argue that they're not.

It might seem obvious to some of you that 1,990 calories of macaroni and cheese are not healthy at all compared to 1,990 calories of varied foods (fruit, veggies, meat, bread, etc.).

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

Just Because You're Asked To Be In A Wedding, Doesn't Always Mean You Should Say Yes

If you can't invest time, money, and YOURSELF, maybe say no to the offer for the bride's sake!

Being in a wedding is a really big commitment. I personally think if you've never been in one before, you don't understand the time, money, and energy that goes into being a part of it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

If I Unfriend You During The 2020 Election, Yes, It's Personal

President Donald Trump and Joe Biden's plans for Black America matter.

The Black Lives Matter movements have sparked widespread conversations and protests across the nation. With justice not being served for the murders of innocent Black people like Breonna Taylor and absolutely no support from President Donald Trump, this upcoming election is quite important.

Keep Reading... Show less

Whether you're turning 18, 26, or 34, it is quite normal to find yourself looking for "Mr. Right" — or whichever title prefix relates to you. As someone who is in a similar situation, I've started forcing myself to become aware of my actions and decisions when it comes to any romantic interests — it hasn't been easy in the slightest!

Keep Reading... Show less

Whether you're in an unhealthy relationship currently, you know someone who is, or you just want to have these numbers saved just in case it could one day save someone's life (if not your own), this article is for you. Here are three numbers to save in your contacts ASAP so you can always be safe, both physically and mentally, in every relationship.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

Dear Closeted Latina,

You were never alone.

Remember how the Latin world got rocked when Ricky Martin came out?

Keep Reading... Show less
Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash

I'll admit it, when I first met you, I wasn't sure how well things were going to work out. Although I didn't know you that well at the time, we seemed to be opposites in almost every way. You were cool, edgy, and laid-back, and I was more awkward, goofy, and anxious.

Keep Reading... Show less

The Caribbean is a place where people go for vacation, but if you set out from a cruise ship you miss out on all the beautiful culture. Their exotic beaches are nothing without their zinging food and hospitality. Locals in the Caribbean are warmhearted with a zest to live life to the fullest.

This is exactly where most of their words and phrases come from, having a good time. I definitely enjoyed myself living in the Caribbean, but it's not always about lounging. They get work done too and I've learned proper phrases for accomplishments.

Keep Reading... Show less

It wasn't until I hit 23 years old that I started getting hangovers. It could've been from two glasses of wine or even a margarita at happy hour, the next day, consider me bed-bound until further notice.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

What's Coming To And Leaving Netflix In August For Your Summer Viewing Pleasure

Just in time for another your end of summer binge-watch list.

Flower Films, Warner Bros, New Line Cinema

August is here, which means we will be losing some of our Netflix favorites but gaining some new ones. Here is a list of TV shows and movies we will be losing and gaining on Netflix during August.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments