Feeling beautiful was something I had never felt. I pretended to feel beautiful, I dressed pretty nicely, I did my make-up, but then I looked into the mirror at the final result and I was disgusted. What I saw looking back at me was a fat umpa-lumpa like creature that made me sick and then I would cry and wish I were back to my 12-year-old self. An anorexic girl who starved herself, who also did not feel pretty but was skinny enough to not feel so fully disgusted with her body and be accepted by society. I had tried to work past my insecurities, tried to make myself realize that I was not as disgusting as I believed myself to be and all I came up with was, “Well, at least I have a pretty face.” The saddest part is that I was always the person that found beauty in almost everyone no matter their shape, size, skin tone, etc. I just could never see it in myself. Until recently that is, when I discovered some wonderful women who inspired me to change my view on my body. These women are Meghan Trainor and Megan Jayne Crabbe also known as Bodyposipanda on Instagram.

If you’re a Meghan Trainor fan, then her song “All About That Bass” is a song you probably recognize. In her song, Trainor sings of loving her body and encourages others to do the same. Trainor never thought her song would be so popular but with girls like me the song resonated and became a hit. So now, when I am having a bad day, I sing along to Trainor’s song and laugh at lyrics like, “Yeah, it's pretty clear, I ain't no size two. But I can shake it, shake it, like I'm supposed to do, 'Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase, all the right junk in all the right places,” because they not only make me feel happy but they made me see that my extra weight just makes me more beautiful, more me.

Meghan Jayne Crabbe is a body positive Instagramer who shares her love of her body with her followers. Through her post Crabbe shared her story with anorexia, one that resonated with me, and how she overcame it. She is a beautiful woman who encourages other women and young girls to love themselves for who they are. She posts pictures of herself in bikinis to show her love of her body and shares posts from other young women who are body positive as well. She is a great influence on young women and if you don’t follow her already, you should.

Now at 24, I still struggle with my weight but I am not disgusted by it. I am 4’11 and 167 pounds. So, according to my doctor, I am 47 pounds overweight. I have dieted and I go to the gym frequently but I don’t lose weight as frequently as others because after six years of anorexia, I destroyed my metabolism. It frustrates me but I have learned to see myself in a new light. I may not be as perfect as those petite models in magazines but let's face it, neither are they. I can’t fully blame the media for my anorexia or the disgust I felt about myself, my family had a lot to do with it too, but it did play a major role in what I thought beauty was. Skinny, white, tall. I am clearly none of the above and neither are most of our girls. So today, I not only celebrate me, I celebrate you too.

I want all the young woman of the world to know that you’re beautiful. I want you to know that your size does not determine who you are but that your heart does. As long as you stay true to yourself and love yourself no one will ever be able to take your sense of beauty away from you. It won't always be easy. For example, my dad has lost weight recently and calls me fat every time he sees me but I ignore it because even though I am still not physically where I want to be, I know that my extra weight just makes me more yummy.