Sometimes, you're just like a fire extinguisher. Other people in trouble will come to you because you are so easy going, and you will help them no matter what. Remember, don't be afraid to reject others if you can't help them because they're the ones who brought you trouble first.
Back in my high school, one late night, a classmate texted me to tell me that her workplace held a presentation contest, and she asked me to write her a script. I was extremely busy at that time because it was final exam week, I wanted to refuse, but she said it sincerely, so I could only agree.
So, I spent my free time, even taking advantage of the break to help her find documents, sitting on the computer at night to write articles, every word was considered very seriously and carefully. It took me 3 evenings to finish. When I sent her the draft, after thanking me, she said, "I have to give this presentation the other day, I thought you forgot."
I felt like she was blaming me for being late, but I didn't think much at that time.
After that, while I was searching Facebook, I saw her post complaining that the presentation was not good, and she only got the third prize. I thought it was all over, I didn't expect to hear some bad words soon after.
She said that if I didn't want to help at the first place, I just need to tell her frankly. The fact that it took me 3 days to send her the draft harming her not having enough time to "absorb" the content.
I was mad! I was angry at myself that I had helped her instead of rejecting her ridiculous request. Helping and finally getting the blame back, such people are trash and I learned from that moment, this should never happen again, ever!
In life, there is no shortage of people like that: like to bother other people, always put their interests and feelings first, not thinking about whether they will bother others very much. For them, from the outset, be brave to say "No"!
But is it that hard to deny others? For some, it is indeed very difficult!
Even if the other person doesn't really think much, some people will still feel a bit guilty, thinking about whether they are to blame or to be angry at. Therefore, even if they do not really want, they will still agree to help the other person.
To a certain extent, the person who doesn't know how to reject others is the one who always wants to win the hearts and always pursuing the recognition of others. So, when other people want to ask for your help, but you don't want to, how can you cleverly refuse?
Firstly, don't afraid to say "No".
Remember: helping others is nice, but it is not your duty. Not everyone will hate you if you refuse to help. If they do, it's probably because they're petty, and none of that is your business.When a person wants to ask for help, there are two cases in which they are mentally prepared: Yes or No. So, don't put pressure on yourself because others may not think that much.
Before you refuse, calm down. Learning to refuse is a way to respect yourself, as well as respect others. It is better to show your attitude in the first place than to leave it ambiguous. Being good to others and being too good are two different things.
Keep playing the good guy forever, and in the end, you will be the most tired person. So, when facing with requests that is difficult for you, learn to say no. You can only apologize to them this time but in return, you get your relief and comfort.
If you are reluctant to help them over and over again, to a certain point, the relationship you want to maintain will end in tears.Saying so much, I'm not telling you to stop helping others. Helping is a good thing but learning how to refuse is also a kind of ability. We have to objectively recognize that we are just a normal person, with limited capacity, limited time, and it is impossible to please everyone.
