Incoming college freshman,

I remember the excitement you’re probably feeling right now. School is almost over, and college is on the horizon. At this point, I can only imagine you’ve got your roommate picked out. It’s a strange and thrilling feeling all at once. I remember being excited I was going to be living with someone, but I was also anxious about the fact that I hardly knew anything about them. My future roommate and I texted during the last weeks of high school and into the summer. We planned and coordinated everything we were bringing to school. We talked about our interests, our dislikes, our sleeping habits and everything in between. We seemed so similar, and I was confident that living together would go smoothly.

Have you ever heard of “catfishing” someone? The term was popularly coined by MTV’s Nev Schulman when referring to misleading someone on the Internet. After a couple weeks of living together, I felt like my roommate had catfished me.

Living with a new person is always going to be challenging. It’s going to be even more challenging when you and your roommate have virtually nothing in common.

We could not be more different when it came to important things such as our values, music tastes and personalities. We just didn’t click like I once thought we would. Additionally, this speaks nothing of my roommate’s character. It simply speaks to the fact that we are two very different people.

Roommate disagreements will happen. It’s a fact of college living. It’s about how you handle the disagreements that will determine the success rate of the pairing.

Learn from my failed roommate experience.

Be upfront about your ugly habits. Normally, I take a pretty long nap in the middle of the day. I told my roommate I like to nap but I failed to mention that I like to nap every day for at least two hours. This was an issue. We had different schedules and when I was sleeping, she needed to get ready for class. I got annoyed that she was making too much noise, and she got annoyed that I was always sleeping.

Engage in healthy debates and discussions. I am a very opinionated person. My roommate’s opinions could not have been further from mine. Every time we talked about an issue one of us felt strongly about, the other would always leave the discussion feeling mad or frustrated. Not everyone will agree with you, and that is a reality that slapped me in the face when I got to college. Don’t create conflict with your roommate over disagreements.

Speak directly to each other about disagreements. When a disagreement arises between you and your roommate, avoid sharing it with friends before you communicate it with your roommate. My roommate had a problem with me being messy, as I heard through one of her friends. It made me mad that my roommate couldn’t have told me this herself, and it created tension between us. Tension is a strong force when you’re living in an oversized shoebox with someone.

My advice when it comes to dealing with roommates is to communicate with each other. Communicate with each other before you lock each other in as roommates. Make sure you’re positive you can live with this person. Disagreements will happen. Talk it out with each other, not outside parties. Roommates can be the best thing about college or the worst. It’s all up to you.