I can’t recall any concert I’ve been to where I was able to hear the person or band sing for the entirety of the show. I had paid a chunk of change to experience the same thing I could have for free, sitting outside of a club on a Friday, listening to the music from the speakers as loud as they can go, yet it still being drowned out by drunk twenty-something-year-olds inside, singing and dancing to the Macarena. Moments like that make me feel resentful. Resentful that I had wasted my money and resentful that I was now wasting my time. It is unfair. All I ever wanted was to enjoy some nice music from some nice people. The not-so-slight urge to slap someone for being obnoxious as heck wouldn’t do anything to help my situation, but it sure would make me feel better.
I understand that the type of concert etiquette one would expect to find at a heavy metal concert would be different than what you would see at a bluegrass concert. Hooting and hollering during a heavy metal raging mosh pit is completely acceptable. You can even push people around in mosh pits. In fact, it’s encouraged. Great for people with anger management issues. Bad for pacifists and germophobics. Now, even starting a mosh pit during a fiddle solo during a bluegrass jam is the furthest thing from fitting. Honestly, don’t even stand in groups of four or more because it’ll probably give people the idea that you’re about to mosh.
Concert etiquette also varies on where the concert takes place. If it’s inside or outside. At the beach or in a crowded city. North or south. The same band, the same song set list, the same performance every night has nothing to do in relation to the crowd. The audience. The people around you who could either help you have the best night of your life or help you destroy it.
It’s your third time seeing Adele and a giant has the seat in front of you. You later find out they are wearing heels. (Are people not practical anymore?) You politely ask them the move a little to the right so you’d fit nicely in a window gap. For the first half of the next song they’ve respected you and your new window. They let you see Adele for a whole two minutes before they slowly migrate back to their spot before. The next hour and half you find yourself standing on your tip-toes, stretching and twisting your neck like a giraffe. You don’t see Adele again. You hear her, of course only at times when the giant isn’t trying to imitate her range. You will never forget this concert and you will never forget how that giant made you feel, especially when they started to sway their arms above their head, blocking your view even more.
DISCLAIMER #1: I’ve placed this article under the “Humor” category. Yes, this article is funny, but it’s also sad. It’s sad because it’s true. Yes, concerts and festivals are fun. Really, people have the time of their lives there! And then there are people like me. Don’t get me wrong, I love live music, but only if people stay out of my bubble and stay off of my Mexican blanket. And why can’t people just close their mouths and open their ears? Quit chugging beers and stay seated if you keep falling over.
DISCLAIMER #2: This article was completed and submitted for editing on July 7th, 2016. July 9th, 2016 I attended a Nick Jonas and Demi Lovato concert on their Future Now Tour. This article continues to reinforce general ideas of proper behavior at concerts, but the annoying fans during this concert could not hold my attention for long. My love for Nick Jonas and Demi Lovato was(is) too strong.
