You love shopping, but the exhausting combination of walking and standing involved in going to malls enrages you. Buying new things is right up your alley, but waiting in cash register lines, rivaled only by Disney attractions, is not. Owning clothes is something you enjoy, but undergoing the grueling process of trying them on in an ill-lit dressing room is akin to torture -- imagine if they don’t even fit! What a waste of time, effort, and hope.
At first glance, online shopping seems like a viable solution to your afflictions, but alas, you are too impatient to wait the 13 eons it takes for your clothes to arrive. After a lifetime of battling these dilemmas, I have slowly acquired some neat tips and tricks that have made my shopping experiences faster and more enjoyable -- in other words, they require as little movement as possible. Hopefully, some of these ideas can help you achieve your dreams and keep your lazy little couch potato heart content.
1. Browse the net before your shopping trip.
This is something that’s very quick and easy to do even the night before you go shopping, and it can help out a lot on the day of. Once you’ve looked through the newest arrivals and sale items at your main favorite stores, you can mentally check which stores currently has items you’re interested in and rule out stores with no good offers, which will give you a nice (and limited) number of stores to enter during your actual shopping day.
2. Pick the right place.
If you’re planning a big shopping trip, choose to go somewhere with a wide selection of shops in close proximity to each other, like a large mall, so as to hopefully limit the number of places you visit. No one likes having to drive to several different places in a single day in order to shop.
3. Pick the right time.
Trying to shop with an army of people keeping you from looking at clothing racks or items is annoying and disruptive. There are certain times when large malls become overcrowded with people (for example, 1 p.m. on a Saturday), especially popular stores like Apple and Forever 21. If you’re planning on shopping on a weekend, getting there as early as you can will probably help you avoid the masses, but if possible, shopping during a weekday is usually a calmer experience.
4. Be strategic about purchases.
If you know your shopping list includes paper clips for your office, a stuffed llama for your baby sister, and a vintage record player, it would probably make the most sense to buy these items in order of lightest to heaviest, so your day doesn’t end in an unwanted appointment with your chiropractor. However, you may want to find a happy medium between not carrying heavy things for too long and not walking the equivalent of a 10K around the mall.
5. Know both your body and return policies very well.
My biggest annoyance while shopping is trying on clothes, which is why I’ve given up on doing it. However, I can only get away with this luxury because I know my body type very well and I have a keen eye for spotting styles, fabrics, cuts and patterns that are flattering and of my taste. I also am very aware of the sizing differences in my favorite stores (if clothing sizes run larger, smaller, or true-to-size), and I know which size will fit me best in each store. Using an experienced eye and keeping in mind what clothes have worked in the past usually works well: I end up keeping and loving my new clothes. Once in a while, my near-flawless method will err, and I end up bringing something home only to discover that it does not fit properly. This is where the knowledge of return policies comes in handy. Some stores will give you a refund, others only give back store credit (unless the item is a final sale, in which case it cannot be returned at all). Bear this in mind when buying something without trying it on: if you’re not willing to accept store credit at Forever 21, instead of cash back, then don’t buy a risky item. Also, you should definitely keep your tags and receipts until you’re sure you want to keep an item.
