Boy do I love the awkwardness of a new relationship. Says no one ever. What they do say is that they love the excitement of something new, the mystery of what it will become and the hope that it won't end with heartache. I like to think of relationships as onions: lots and lots of layers.
Layer One: The first layer of course, is the beginning. It is the surface of a relationship that starts it all. Admittedly, physical attraction is most commonly the main focus when first meeting someone. Whether we can help it or not, there are just some people you aren't attracted to, and that's okay. Finding that first initial attraction is important. It may not always be in ways you expect either. Your previous significant other can have physical traits totally opposite of your present one. Some may say they have a specific "type,” while others like to keep their options open. Neither one is wrong or can be chosen, really. We like what we like, that's all there is to it.
Layer Two: Now you've decided you are indeed physically attracted to someone, woohoo! So what about their personality? Can you hold a conversation with them beyond how awesome or terrible the weather is? Do they make you laugh? Smile? Are they an overall decent human being? Not only that but are they a human being that does life in a way that relates to the way you do it? If not, is their way something that can be molded into your way? And vice versa.
Layer Three: So you both have decided to do this thing. Clearly there's something between the two of you, and by golly you're gonna give it your best shot. This is where it starts to get good. Not only does it feel incredible to know someone you think is cool, also thinks you're cool back, but you find yourself wanting to know everything about them. What's their favorite color? Food? Childhood memory? Their greatest fear? Their goals and aspirations? This is similar to layer two but much more in-depth. You want to know everything about them and you quickly find that they also want to know everything about you.
Layer Four: I like to call this the serious decisions layer. What started out as fun and excitement has reached a level of intimacy you have to decide if you're willing to share. Whether it be physically, emotionally or even spiritually. Are they someone you want to know so much about you? If so, are they someone who will be understanding and embrace every ounce of you whether it be good or bad? Once you make this decision for yourself will their decision be the same? This layer can be a bit scary and maybe even a little tricky, but when done right can be very rewarding.
Layer Five: Therealgood stuff. Once you make it here, everything just makes sense. This person that was once an attractive stranger has somehow made their way into being a part of your life you don't ever want to live without. You often find yourself wishing you could have found them sooner so you could have been living this way a long time ago. Cloud nine, as some would call it. There's this sense of calm in every situation. With the right person, no matter what is going on around you, as long as you have them to come home to at the end of the day, you just know it will somehow be okay. This is the ultimate goal.
Not every relationship is the same, though. Some may have a few extra layers thrown in there while others may find that they skip a layer or two. The most obvious and most important realization is that between the laughter, the fights, the late nights on the telephone, the annoyances, the cuddles, the hurt, the happiness, the doubt and everything else. All you need in the end is true, unconditional love.
