Everyone has a stuck moment in their life, especially college kids. Are we ever truly happy? Do we really know what we want?
These questions creep our thoughts at night and we pass them on by.
As people get older they're supposed to let go of their dreams to conform to reality and what's to come. I grew into the mentality that you can't have success and a happy social/marriage life at the same time. I'm sure plenty can relate to this too. There's only so much time in one day, right? Well expert life coach, Laurie Gerber, seems to disagree. Laurie Gerber, President of Handel Group, works day by day improving the personal and professional of lives "one human at a time."
I attended an event on Sunday, June 25th, 2017, with IVY. IVY call themselves "a social university "and their focus is to bring to events the level of thoughts and connectivity that college is bringing to us all. Laurie Gerber was the speaker of the day with the looming topic of: "How to Design a Successful Life and Achieve Your Dreams."
Originally, I thought nothing of it. I didn't really think even consider that Laurie could even help me or that it would be taken seriously. Originally, I got there and was like this should be something to pass my time and I'll take a lesson or two. But Mrs. Gerber grabbed my attention quickly.
The intimate setting had roughly 25 adults including myself and each person in the room was successful but were lacking in their lives and it was interesting to hear their stories as I was walking around and connecting. When Laurie first engaged with us all as a group she asked us to notice the "Design Your Life Workbook" that she offered copies of to all of us. There were 12 Areas of Life, which meant 12 areas that individuals in life could be unhappy about and it could be more than one or it could be all of them and it doesn't make them any else important.
The 12 Areas of Life:
1. SELF: How you Feel About Yourself, Personality Traits & Habits.
2. BODY: Health, Weight & Appearance.
3. LOVE: Dating, Marriage, Sex & Romance.
4. SPIRITUALITY: Self-defined.
5. CAREER: Business, Work & School Life.
6. MONEY: Earnings, Savings & Money Management.
7. TIME: Relationship to Time. To Dos & Time Management.
8. HOME: Where you live, Your Space.
9. FAMILY: Immediate & Extended Family & Parenting.
10. FRIENDS: Old & New Friends.
11. FUN & ADVENTURE: Indulgent Time, Vacations & Extracurricular Learning.
12. COMMUNITY & CONTRIBUTION: Participation in Your Community.
The question put to the group was: Where do you feel like you're lacking?
Collectively, a majority of the group struggled to pick one and it makes sense. It's often true that Gerber dealt with clients that had more than one issue of their life they wanted to deal with. But Gerber first made the connection of our lives by asserting that "You are the author of your life." Avoiding lifestyles and forcing self-punishment is not the key. Forbid beating yourself was her advice because it only became a diversion to a topic you cared about. What you can only control and impact is you.
When picking an area of life we had to ask ourselves what did we mean and why did we care? Those are where the best dreams are created.
My dream was love.
Gerber had each and every one of us write down a dream we had one year from now and I took it as seriously as I could and wrote down this: "I'm trying out something new with this guy. I feel good. We enjoy each other's company whenever we're together. I can't wait to see how it goes. I'm courageous for what's to come."
But, my reality was I would do anything to avoid that.
Part 1 was over, Part 2 had begun and it was find excuses in your area. Now knowing me I'd find every reason to block off a dream as wonderful as that and these were mine:
1. Picking fights.
2. Trying to hold back emotions once I see a mess up.
3. Time Management.
4. Fear.
And Gerber said, "Excuses obscure the truth." The truth will set you free. The only way this process was going to work was to let go.
Part 3 led to this question:
"Do you have a negative theory about why you can't have your dream?"
And I simply answered, "I get in my own way when good things happen socially." And it was the truth. I block myself from good in fear of screwing up.
In order to avoid the excuses, Gerber pushed to us that the only way people will let go of their excuse is to put promises as set steps for their goal and if they don't complete those promises to create consequences. The best consequences are the things you love the most.
Throughout the entire time I sat there, I became more involved in Gerber's thoughts and words of encouragement. Coaching is a process and different people need different things. With a coach, the process becomes easier.
After the event was over, I took into consideration to asking her a few questions to find out more than she'd already given me of her valuable time.
Q: How do you get someone to consider being motivated if they're stuck?
A: You can't make someone want to do anything. My job isn't to motivate people who are stuck. My purpose is to push people who recognize they do need and want help and how to get them to where they want to be in their life.
Q: What general advice would you give to college kids?
A: Tell the truth. I work in colleges around in the college and public high schools in NYC and tell them to stand and tell their dream and to trust that it's okay to go with your own thoughts rather than those who may be behind you telling you otherwise.
Q: What makes HG different from other companies?
A: HG coaching is the direct route back to your long lost dreams, helping you design and live your most inspired life. Coaching helps awaken you to not just one or two of your dreams, but to ALL of them. It is for people ready to live a life by design and cause immediate and lasting change. Our rigorously trained coaches work closely with you to customize a program to suit your specific needs and guide you through The Handel MethodⓇ, empowering you to cause the change you deeply desire once and forever, getting to the heart of your highest ideals.
Q: Do you have a favorite quote or a saying you live by?
A: HG's favorite slogan is "Maybe it's you."
After listening to Laurie and asking her questions over a spare time of a few hours she taught me:
1. Let go of fear - fear will block you.
2. These steps can work with all 12 areas of life.
3. There is no shame in admitting you're unhappy in your life.
4. Stop avoiding issues or you'll be stuck.
5. Live a life you want.
Thank you, Laurie Gerber, for giving me the inspirational push and realization I needed to let go of my old habits and push into a happier lifestyle for my ending teen year and into my early 20s.
Schedule your free consultation (https://www.handelgroup.com/consultation/) to learn more about coaching options.
