Is it possible to have a, "mid-life" crisis at such a young age? By young I mean 19. That’s pretty young, right? How does one have a mid-life crisis at that age? Well, it’s not as hard to do as you'd think it’d be.
I’ve known what I’ve wanted since my freshman year of high school. When it came to school, family, and my future career I had it all figured out. However, now I’m a freshman in college and I’m not sure if I really want the same things anymore. Or do I? I know I can accomplish everything I’ve wanted for so long. I know I can make it. However, what if this life that I’ve yearned for and busted my butt for isn’t as amazing as I picture it to be.
I’ve pictured a lot of things these past few years and about 75 percent of what I’ve pictured didn't happen or the exact opposite happened. Why is that? Is it because I did something wrong? Is it because the other people involved pictured other things that altered my picture? The answer is no. The reasoning behind it is because it simply was just not meant to be or simply was just not the right timing.
It isn’t the fear of failing that scares me. I know failure is something that is inevitable. I also know that once you hit rock bottom, you can only rise from there, because there is nowhere lower then rock bottom. I only have two fears. The first is to die alone. The second is to love someone that doesn’t love me back. I’m not too worried about those fears right now. I do worry that when I get to where I want to be, it won’t be what I want anymore.
I’m changing my beliefs, but holding onto what makes me who I am. I’ve learned so much more about myself and life in general than I ever thought I could in eight months. Which is kind of Ironic because I went to high school for four years prior to that only to graduate with a degree that is good to have, but has no personal direct meaning in regards to my future behind it.
Although I appreciate the experiences I had through out those four years, I’ve decided to leave it all behind. Maybe by doing that I’m choosing to grow-up quicker, but that’s okay. If you really think about it, a lot of our grandparents and even some of our parents were living out on their own right now at our age. That seems crazy to us because times have changed and the economy has changed, but it’s the truth. Just as they grew into the adults that they are today, so will we.
So get excited about the future. Don’t worry about all the, “what if” theories filling your head constantly. No one will have an answer for you and it will only induce your, “mid-life” crisis. When you get to where you’re going, you’ll have the answer you’ve wondered about.
