To those who are currently stuck,
When I was a senior in high school I dated a boy for a couple of months. I thought for sure we were gonna get married, lol, and that he was the love of my life, LOL!!! Thankfully, he broke up with me. I was devastated, so devastated that I swore off dating for years.
I allowed high school bullshit to dictate my life for many, many years, because of this I was stuck in that time of my life for way too long. You have to close the yearbook in order to move forward.
Now homeboy is engaged to a girl that I don't really know and I am so very happy that it's not me. Not because he's some monster, in fact, he was always very sweet to me, but because I am a completely different person than that 18-year-old heartbroken girl, thank god. I had to force-close my yearbook in order to move on with my life, to change, to grow, to become the woman I am today.
This was an embarrassingly long process, but I feel very fortunate that I am no longer carrying the stupid burden of pain and jealousy. You see, being stuck in one place either stems from pain or jealousy. Hanging on to pain, whether it be a break-up, a fight with a friend, or trauma, only leads to more trouble.
This trouble could be hurting someone else to make you feel better, but it only hurts you in the end. Jealousy, of someone's "perfect life," of someone's relationship, of someone supposedly not being in pain, will never create something positive in your life.
Envy is the ultimate in life immobility, spinning from pain, into want, into attacks, into paralysis. Being so focused on what others have, so focused on that one relationship that you cannot let go of, is something so many people deal with. It is ok to talk about it, but damn it you have got to let go.
Once envy is finally released then the root of the pain can be managed. This is not a fun process. Sometimes it involves therapy or a change in thinking, but that is the only way to move forward. You deserve more in life than to be stuck.
Honestly, I don't know what's going on in your life. What has caused you to hang onto this pain and jealousy, but you have got to forgive one another in order to move on. This does not mean you have to be BFF's, but it's what you deserve because hunny it is time to close that yearbook. It is time to move on, because there is more to life than the smallness of pettiness.
With Sisterly Love,
Some Rando Who Gave You Unsolicited Advice
