If you like boys, have had any interaction with a boy or even watched a romantic comedy, then you know that they all mature at different paces. As my friend and I were walking to dinner one evening, we were discussing the experiences we have had with various boys, all were at various levels of maturity. Then we came up with a theory; a theory that we believe fully embodies the transition of boys becoming men. It is called the "Kool-Aid to Wine Theory."
Grape Kool-Aid
Like Kool-Aid, this boy is sweet and looks great, but he is bad for your health. He’s the guy you meet in the dirty frat basement, go home with for the night, and maybe text for the next week or so. Eventually, the texts will stop coming and the next time you run into him on the street, he will not even be able to look you in the eye. Immaturity at its finest.
Welch's Grape Juice
A level up from Kool-Aid, this guy has real substance. He’s the guy who sits by you in class and waits until the last week of the semester to ask you out on a date. You go, have a really nice time because, like Kool-Aid boy, he’s sweet and perhaps even a little charming. You may date for a while, maybe even fall in “love." But eventually, he will fall out of love with no real reasoning except for that he feels the need to sow his wild oats.
Trader Joe's Wine
A Trader Joe’s wine kind of guy is slightly sophisticated, or at least trying to be, and he has the best of intentions. He is looking for true love but doesn’t know quite where to start. You never have to worry about him being untrustworthy or not treating you with respect. However, he is still aging, so he may make a few mistakes, but he will never mean to hurt you.
Fine Wine
He is no longer a boy; he is a man. He has matured into his final form, and like a nice red wine, is good for your heart. With every sip, you feel more warm and fuzzy. You will always feel loved and appreciated when with him. He will never stop trying to win you over, even if he already has you. You will be his most precious gift, and he will be yours.
And so, keep in mind that there is a legal drinking age for a reason. You should not be drinking Kool-Aid at age 21. Welch’s grape juice will cure your thirst but only leave you with high blood sugar and a purple tongue. At this point in your life, it is time to be on the lookout for the cheap to fine wine. Best of luck.
