Day 1: Soft as a baby’s touch, the aroma of fresh aftershave and radiant reflections of an angel mirrors back; this is a picture of a clean shaven man. You look handsome with the sun glistening off that face.
Day 2: The perfect, barely-there scruff. Dapper, yet still professional. You can tell he wants to be seen as many times as possible today with multiple extensive strokes of the chin throughout his day. Time is limited when the ultimate sprout of a shadow is at its best.
Day 3: It looks like this guy woke up a little late for his third morning, not worth mentioning. However, the accumulation of neck scruff is beginning to rise. Guys, you never know who you will be kissing today so let’s just say, with this scruff, leaving that kind of mark behind is less than ideal. We don’t want anyone’s face ripped off.
Day 4: You know, that 5 o’clock shadow that can make any girl’s head turn. The stage in between where it should and shouldn’t be. Careful though, a good scruff can be appreciated, but it’s starting to creep down his neck. It is time to clean the neck line.
Day 5: Past the deadline of the 5 o’clock shadow, sporadic and definitely getting noticeable. Guys, do not be surprise if your day fives do not come out like Ryan Gosling’s notorious whiskers. Trim, trim, trim it up.
Day 6: The stubble, itch and unevenness is real. The whiskers are starting to fill out, and the beard is starting to lurk around its full potential. If nothing is distinguished, let’s freshen those lines up fellas.
Day 7: Oh no, he grows hair up on his cheek bones? I see where this is going. Remember, you have skin too, guys. Let’s tame this mane and keep the facial hair inbounds. Please, for all the ladies out there, clean up the top of that bad boy.
Day 8: Now you are really giving something to stroke. You are smooth sailing to rockin’ that full on beard. However, is your new “beard” starting to drift into your hairline? Time to prune that son-of-a-gun. Heaven forbid, you don’t want to start looking creepy, do you boys…
Day 9: The calm before the storm. Nature’s gnarliest facial foliage is in full swing, and I do not know where the beard is taking him because it is starting to look like a long lost friend. The no-longer stubble is drifting from north-south-east and west, this madness needs to end.
Day 10: The full on beard — who knows if the full beard is considered art, rebellion or just pure chaos? That has got to be way more work than just shaving, that’s for sure. Think about it, do you really want to be checking for crumbs every time you bite into your sandwich? Or whipping your stache when you take a sip of your coffee? Annoying, I don’t think so. I think the best solution is- he better just shave.
Consensus: Guys--- you should just say don't and say you did .
