For the longest time, I used to be a believer of the phrase, “No one deserves anything”. I believed that I had to work for everything that I wanted, no matter what. And I did. I worked for my grades, my talents, and most importantly, my relationships.

You became such a good friend to me in such little time, and I couldn’t have asked for a better one. You came in the time of my life where I needed someone there nonstop, and I was truly thankful for you. There was no one else I could call on. You became that person for me. For months we grew closer, and after a very long time of convincing on your part, it eventually became more. So, the work began.

I worked so incredibly hard for us, because I was convinced that whatever I wanted, I had to do exactly that. I didn’t deserve a good relationship unless I put in the most effort. I wasn’t entitled to a dang thing. But then I started to lose you, and I thought that it must be because of something I was doing wrong. It had to be. Because I didn’t deserve your affection unless I fought for it…You started choosing so many other things over me when all I asked for was your company. While I was fighting with my own mind to be happy and needed you, you kept turning your back to me for others. I got to a point where I just gave up, because trying to fight my way through a brick wall was only damaging my heart more and more.

How stupid was I to think that it was all my fault? Why has it taken me so long to accept the fact that maybe losing who I was in the process of trying to love you was something that my heart didn’t need?

We all learn from our mistakes, I guess.

And this mistake made me realize something pivotal in my life:

I’m not sorry for knowing what I’m worth, and I’m not sorry for leaving.

If I’m entitled to anything in this world, it’s to be completely happy. And you weren’t giving me what I deserved. You made me feel guilty for being happy without you for the longest time. You questioned every move that I made, but I’m no longer being held back by you. I’m living the way that I should’ve been living a long time ago. The burden of having you in the back of my head constantly doesn’t exist anymore.

I’m worth so much more than you made me believe. Saying that doesn’t make me an arrogant brat. It makes me a woman who’s proud of what she’s accomplished and needs someone who is just as proud of who she is-with and without someone else in her life.

So, I’m done feeling the need to apologize to you for finally being happy.