Since I was pretty young, I was raised by my parents to be loud and proud.

I was told that if I felt strongly about something, I needed to voice it. But everyone else told me that I could do that... unless the person I was voicing it to was somebody of an older generation. I was always told to respect my elders, and it was always implied that disagreeing with them was disrespectful. The thing I have heard the most in regards to disagreeing with my elders is this very common saying:

"You have to understand, they were raised differently than you were."

There are so many things wrong with this defense. I understand that the sentiment is to respect your elders, something we are taught from very young ages, and that's a decent enough lesson to teach our children, but one thing wrong with this defense is this: Respecting someone doesn't mean you can't disagree with them. It is not disrespectful to disagree with someone, and I'm not 100% sure where this idea comes from.

Another thing wrong with this argument is that "different" doesn't mean "right". Many people in the older generation will say things like:

"We were the last generation that was raised right."

When in reality, they were not raised "right," they were just raised differently than our parents raised us, and even than we will raise our kids. Just because someone was raised in a time racism was okay, doesn't mean that that makes their racist comments okay. Being raised in a time where women were viewed as lesser, doesn't make treating women as lesser okay. Different upbringing is no excuse for inappropriate and offensive behaviors, period.

The biggest issue I see with this defense has always been this: why do we have to respect the way these older generations were raised, but they don't have to respect the way we are raised? Why are we, as a younger generation, expected to respect the way they were raised, but these older generations are always lecturing us on the way we were raised and how we need to make changes to improve our attitudes and behaviors? And since when does respecting my elders mean I can't respect myself and my opinion or voice too?

I have always been a firm believer that respect is earned. Age, socioeconomic status, sex, sexuality, race, gender identity, and religion do not entitle a person to be respected. So why in the world am I required to respect an entire generation, that does nothing but disrespect my generation and how we are all being raised?

I understand that these generations were raised differently. I really do. But they need to understand that I was raised differently too.