"Your Hair," a man exclaimed with his hands up in the air as my sister and I were leaving church service; only to walk away leaving my sister and me completely mystified by his vague statement and what he meant by it. Was that a compliment? Did I need to make some adjustments? Whatever do you mean sir? To this day, I still truly do not understand how he felt about my hair.
As women, our hair can dominate much of our lives. The money we put into it, the time we invest and the care we take for it to come out just right. It holds a lot of value when we measure our self-esteem. With that being said, as a black woman who has had either relaxed hair or natural hair at one point or another, I can tell you that no matter how much you invest in your hair, it appears that natural hair will often be viewed negatively. People will say things like, "Your hair is too thick," or "Your hair is a distraction." Natural hair starts up too many conversations and the world can't keep their hands out of it, which really doesn't bother me like it does for some people. I actually take it as a compliment. Oh, you're intrigued by my hairstyle? Why thank you, touch away! I'm knappy and happy!
Not only do you have to explain your hair to people who don't understand the texture, but you also have to deal with the criticism from other naturals. "You know, you really shouldn't flat iron your hair," or "So I guess you're back to using the creamy crack huh?" (Creamy-crack is a term often used in reference to relaxer). News flash...don't judge me! At one point everybody was using relaxers. As far as flat ironing goes, what's wrong with a little versatility? Why can't I leave my hair curly sometimes and flat iron it the rest of the time if I please? We really need to stop judging each other and what we do with our hair. It's my hair, shouldn't I have a choice?
From youth all the way up through adulthood, constant opinions are being made about you and your hair. The world just doesn't understand what we go through! The choices for our hair are somewhat limited, but we do have options. Trust me, I have tried just about everything. Some of us chop it all off or put loads of chemical in it, while others flatten it until it's dead. There are some black women who choose to use hair pieces/weave. Others just leave it natural as can be in its authentic thickness as a beautiful curly afro puff. But can that decision cause you to miss out on job opportunities and change the way the world views you even in 2016? Does it affect how you see yourself? Is that why you have made so many changes to it over the years?
Have you ever heard of Saartjie Baartman from the 19th century? Maybe you know her as Sarah Baartman or The Hottentot Venus. Baartman was the first African woman ever seen by any European man. It's a very long, sad story with a disheartening and demoralizing display of ignorance and sexism. You definitely won't hear about her in your history class. Sadly, Baartman was deceived, kidnapped and made a prostitute because they had never seen anyone with a curvy body, dark skin and natural hair like hers. She was forced to travel and perform for a freak show attraction with her genitalia in full exposure. Even after her death, it was close to 200 years before Baartman received a proper burial. When she passed, her genitalia was sold to a museum and placed on display. It wasn't until 2002 that her remains were sent to Africa where she was finally buried. From her big butt to her full lips and her thick, knappy hair; she was made into the epitome of how black women were envisioned by all (ourselves included) even today.
Do not be deceived! The moral of the story is whether you're a thick and curly natural beauty or long and straight glam queen, should we really put so much emphasis on what society has to say about our hair and what we do with it? IT'S MINE! It grew out of my head, so if my hair falls out tomorrow due to excessive flat ironing or over processing, it is my choice. Like India, Arie said, "I am not my hair." So today, mine is straight, don't hate, and tomorrow I'm back to knappy and happy.
