For as long as I can remember, I have always identified as the "Nice One" in my friend groups, in my school clubs and even within my family. I always associated that with being the "Boring One" who didn’t have any more special attributes to incorporate into a title. The one who people canceled plans on, but whom I kept forgiving, the one who would say “sorry” more times a day than I could count, the one who was always a pushover and just couldn’t say no and disappoint anybody. I longed to be the "Funny One," the "Smart One," the "Adventurous One," anything else that would make me more interesting. Even as one of the captains of my sports team in high school, I always thought of myself as the "Nice Captain." I was by no means one of the better players on the team and I can’t imagine I was very authoritative, but I was approachable and friendly to my teammates. I’m not sure how much I was ever taken seriously, but I was well-liked. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that this attribute of mine developed a negative connotation in my mind. I have since changed my perspective.

First, I’ve accepted the fact that I am generally kind to strangers and friends alike. Even if it might be easier not to or if it they aren’t kind to me. This is just something about myself that I don’t think will ever change. Second, and more importantly, I have recognized that this is okay - even better than okay. Over the course of my life, I have found that kindness is not a trait that is always common to everybody. It seems strange to me, but some people simply can’t think, or don’t care, about how others might feel about what they say or do. They do not attempt to empathize. It is sometimes mystifying to me because this is something that is really central to my character; I am constantly replaying my past, present and future conversations and interactions in my head, worrying about whether I might have offended someone, or if I came across as rude or inconsiderate.

Perhaps you don’t have to agonize over how others might react to everything you say and do, but I do think it is really important that we be aware of being kind. Even if you’re right and they’re wrong, value their opinion and respectfully disagree. Even if they aren’t being kind to you, demonstrate to them how one decent human being treats another. Since I always notice and am grateful when others are considerate of my feelings or my opinions, I try to return the favor by doing the same. If everyone took the time to put themselves in other people’s shoes and thought about the effects of what they say before they say it, I think we would all feel much more accepted, validated, and appreciated.

So, in the end, there are many worse labels you could have than the "Nice One."