Picture this: you start talking to a romantic interest, and things are going great! You two are enjoying the conversation, you're finding common interests and you text every day for the next few days. Next thing you know: radio silence. You start thinking, what did I do? What did I say? What did they find out about me? Just a few days ago you were chatting and everything was going great. The problem is, they're not actually into you like you're into them.
On the third episode of "The Bachelorette," Becca chatted up one of her guys. Jean Blanc, who wanted to speak to her, told her about how he hasn't felt this happy while in a relationship in a long time, and told her that he truly is falling in love with her. Becca, who has known this man for maybe three weeks at this point, is surprised as this changes how she feels about him. Immediately after Jean Blanc realizes that she doesn't feel the same way at that moment (which, why should she, it's week 3) takes it back, telling her that he only said that because he felt she wanted to hear it. Heartbroken, Becca breaks up with him and goes to let the other men know that all she wants is honesty, and if there's anyone in the room who needs to say something that would prohibit a happy relationship with her, now would be the time to let her know.
I could feel for Becca in a different but similar way. Just a few weeks ago, I met someone online who happened to have mutual friends with someone I've known since middle school. I immediately went for conversation with him after validation from my friend, and when I say that I hadn't related and chatted with someone this sincere in such a long time, I'm not exaggerating. But about two days later, he just stopped answering back and would leave me on read, and after a few days of just hoping he was busy, I stopped trying to get him to answer me. This is where I should have stopped,but I'm hopelessly devoted (to you).
Heartbroken and confused, a week after our first conversation, I decided to step out of my boundaries and confront him on why this happening or if he was just busy. About an hour later he replied telling me he regrets that he made me feel that way, as he has been busy with his "stupid friends, work and family". After talking with him a bit more it looked like things were turning around and I was happy, as he gave me interest in still wanting to see me. I asked him what day worked for the movie we wanted to see, and again, silence.
As I overthink the reasons why he hasn't responded to me, of course lying about his feelings is on the list. Did everything go so fast that he realized he doesn't like me & is just trying to be nice by not saying it? Was I pushy? Was he just bored one night and found me pretty? The truth is, when you're interested in someone but lose that interest for whatever reason, it's just easier to stop talking to them than actually tell them that. The person on the other end does it because they believe the other person will get the message and move on, but it really does more harm than good. It causes overthinking, anxiety and worst of all, doubt in yourself. I am heartbroken after clinging onto the idea of someone I barely even know, and I wish he could have just told me why he stopped talking to me. I wish a lot of things: that I didn't trust so easily, that I didn't cling on so easily - it's not easy being like this and getting ghosted by someone. It just really puts into perspective what people will do in order to look like a good person to others.
