One of the new ways of meeting people is through the use of apps. There are all sorts of dating apps out there; Tinder, Clover, OkCupid etc. The problem with these apps is that you can meet a lot of interesting characters. And I don’t mean interesting in a positive way. I mean flat out weirdos. (Side note: I am not promoting or encouraging the use of online dating apps in this blog post.)
So, ladies and gentlemen, what do we do when we meet said weirdo? What do we do when we meet someone we are not attracted to? That is right… we ghost them. What is ghosting? Glad you asked. Ghosting is when you either block someone’s number and other social media where they can contact you or you just stop replying to them entirely.
I hate being ghosted. I feel like it is a cowardly thing you can do to another human being. For some odd reason, people have it in their head that it is bad to be honest with someone when you have bad news. I am going to be the first to say, I would rather hear the bad news than have to wonder what the heck happened that you no longer wish to speak to me. A simple: “Hey I do not feel like we vibe well together” or even a “Hey I am not really attracted to you” would be nice. Even if a guy flat out told me that I was overly complicated and annoying, I would appreciate that.
We are not obligated to be in love with every single human being we come into contact with. We are not obligated to like every human being we come into contact with. We ARE obligated to be kind to people we come into contact with, despite how they treat us or make us feel. Now being kind and letting them walk all over you are VERY different things so please do not confuse the two.
There is a kind way to reject people. Some people may take it better than others, but do not try to force relationships with people you do not actually like. "Reject" sounds like a harsh word, but honestly, you are saving that person from wasting their time trying to win you over. If you feel like a relationship is not going to work, say something. Do not just disappear. You are not a ghost, you are a human being. Ghosting leaves so many things left out in the open with no closure. Instead of peace of mind, you have questions of “why?"
Rejection should not be used to hurt the other person. You should not begin to tear them down because you do not like them. There are so many people on this planet, therefore I am sure someone else does or will like them. Maybe you are not the one for them. Maybe you have all your reasons why you think they suck, but you do not have to tell them every detail. A simple, “I am not interested anymore” will suffice. Do not start calling them names and acting like a jerk. That is the opposite of a kind way to reject someone.
Don’t leave people hanging. Grow up. Be better than everyone else. If you do not like someone anymore, reject them kindly. I am so grateful for the times I have been rejected in a kind way. It is a way that ties knots, ends chapters, and sets me up on a new path. I am practicing what I preach. I will be honest with guys because I do not want to be a ghost. If I am not attracted to them, I will tell them in a kind way. It is not their fault that I am not interested. It is merely a preference and humans are allowed to have those.
