We always hear about the importance of being kind to one another (especially from Ellen DeGeneres), but how many of us actually take the time to put those words into practice? When we see someone with a flat tire on the side of the road, typically our thought process goes: That really stinks. I should stop and help them. But if I do, I’ll be late for work. Now I’m already past them, I might as well keep driving. I’m sure someone else will stop and help them. That last part about someone else stopping to help them mainly serves to reassure ourselves that we aren’t bad people for not stopping. Not stopping doesn’t make you a bad person, but if everyone assumes that someone else will stop to help, the reality is that that person on the side of the road will probably struggle through the tire change by him or herself.
The concept of being kind to one another ranges from simple compliments to large gestures. And it really boils down to one thing: narcissism. It’s human nature to be self-centered and to put your own interests ahead of others’. No one is blaming you for it because we’ve all been there. But one thing I’ve learned is that you have to be able to step out of that mindset every now and then and put others first.
I recently had an experience where an old friend reached out to me to let me know that she was thinking of me and silently rooting for me when I got accepted into a program that would offer me an unparalleled experience. Her message almost meant more to me than getting offered a position in the program. The point of this is that the acts of kindness don’t have to cost a thing, don’t have to take up a lot of time, and they don’t have to be grand gestures. Honestly, it’s the small gestures like letting someone know you’re in their corner after all these years that means the most.
Now, if you’ve mastered the small gestures, definitely go for the big ones. Start a nonprofit, create a movement, volunteer weekly. I recently started volunteering at what was the first no-kill, open-admission animal shelter in the nation. I’ve always been a dog person, so I decided to step out of my comfort zone and take care of the cats as a “Feline Friend.” For two and a half hours a week, I get to leave behind the weight of my coursework and my jobs and I get to play with these little frisky bundles of fluff. But the thing that always gets me is that the cats appreciate this time as much as (if not more than) I do. While I feel fortunate to have this opportunity, the cats wouldn’t be socialized and adopted into their forever homes without the support of the volunteers.
It’s easy to get focused on ourselves. It’s super easy. Especially in college when we have to make all of these huge decisions about our lives, it’s justified that our first priority is ourselves. But always remember to take time to buy a homeless person a sandwich, call your grandmother, volunteer at an animal shelter, or send a message of support to an old friend.
