According to the extremist animal rights group PETA, 4-H - one of the largest youth organizations in the world - kinda sucks. Among other claims they've publicly made against the green clover, according to them being a member hardens kids hearts. As a 12 year 4-H alumni myself I'm here to say; they're totally right.
4-H just sucks man. It turned my heart to stone, I definitely never cried when I sold my market animals every year. (Especially not when I was 19 and did it for the last time, talk about how embarrassing that would be with my rock hard exterior.) So here you go PETA, let me help you out, here are a few more reasons your kids should never join 4-H.
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1. They might learn how to be responsible or something.
The thought of responsible youth just makes me wanna cringe. This is the millennial generation, everyone's supposed to be lazy and entitled right? Come on now folks, we have a reputation to uphold.
2. Even worse, they might gain self-confidence.
Puke. Vomit. No, no, no. No child of mine needs self-confidence, no sir.
3. If you make them show livestock, you're basically making them hate animals.
Kids who show livestock totally don't baby their animals or anything. Show cattle aren't treated like giant puppy dogs and we never make sure to feed them before we eat first. And like I said, no one's ever sad to part way with their project or anything.
4. You're actually desensitizing them.
4-Hers are void of all feeling and emotion, that's a fact. They definitely don't want to play a part in helping feed the world. And they'd never ever be caught dead aiding others, volunteering or doing community service. (We obviously weren't crying, no tears allowed.)
5. It's all business all the time, never ever any fun.
Wanna see your kids never laugh or smile or do anything they genuinely like? Make them join 4-H. All work and no play baby. (Sorry guys, just had to show off this picture of you in dresses just to make campers laugh at a statewide Leadership Camp for proof.)
6. They'll make zero friends.
None, nada, not one. It's too competitive, there's no time for friendship.
7. Solid, real-world connections? They won't make them here.
4-H isn't respected by future employers and has no noteworthy alumni so it can't help you at all later on in life. And no one's ever met or gained anyone that they can use for references or even possibly work for one day.
8. Basically, they'll gain zero life skills.
The ability to speak in public? Who needs it. Being able to work well with others? Not gonna happen here.
9. Honestly, it's just lame.
Being a 4-H member has clearly had no positive impact on my life. I mean, it's definitely not the reason myself or my friends are hardworking, dedicated, confident, well spoken, experienced or compassionate.
Long story short, just don't let your kids sign up for 4-H.
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