It all started in late April of last year. I binge-watched YouTube videos and vlogs on keto. Doctors approved of this diet, so I thought it would be great for me. I would finally start taking care of myself, or at least attempt to shed some unhealthy weight. These doctors and YouTubers warned me of the keto flu and low electrolytes, however, they did not warn me that disordered eating could come from this.
I lost 20 pounds in one month.
This was extremely unhealthy. I was obsessed with counting my calories, macros, and net carbs. I would become full after 500 calories. This is not a lot, but the heavy keto food takes some adjusting to. I began telling my friends how the ketogenic diet works wonders. I would explain all the science behind it and use words like "glycine" and "ketones." They were very impressed that I had so much self-control — I was too. I did not eat sugar, even natural sugars, bread, pasta, etc. I cut fruit out of my diet completely. No strawberries for me — I wanted fast results. And boy, did I get them.
I was so pleased with myself. I hardly worked out and managed to drop so much weight.
What I didn't tell my friends was that I was harming myself.
My obsession with my weight controlled me. I wanted to feel empty. Now I recognize that I was cruel to myself. We, as humans, need nutrients. We need food. We need to feed our bodies yummy things. We need to drink water.
Do not listen to the voice inside your head telling you that you don't deserve to take care of yours.
You are loved. You are worthy. You are important.