My mother was the junior high/ high school drug and alcohol dealer.

I was not.

I now am a sophomore in college and have yet to have my first drink, some could say the apple didn't fall near the tree. Personally, I think it actually fell by the curb and rolled over to the other side of the street. With that in mind, you could say I was a bit of a deer in the headlights at my first college party..... and you can only imagine what else about freshman year might have been shocking to me.

Hahaha......yeah so to try to avoid being like me or even like some of my friends (or my mother), and follow this guide.

1. Don't be THAT person.

Coming from the one who got the nickname of "Mom" the first weekend of college, it is not fun to deal with the really drunk friend that people are staring at. Like, it's cool, drink, have fun, but like... keep it classy. Try to avoid making out with two different (key word) people at the same party. The key to not being that person is that if you're gonna puke, puke with grace and dignity. Oh and do it in the bathroom or at least on the curb, like the lady or gentlemen that you are!

2. Don't buy a fitted sheet for a Toga Party.

I was an idiot and didn't double check that I got the right sheet. So there I was cutting the fitted part of the sheet off right before the party, trying to make it not look ghetto. To say the least, I borrowed someone else's sheet that night.

3. Don't tell your new "friends" everything about you in the first three weeks.

You are going to get wrapped up in the fun of things and then you're going to be up late and talking about high school and how all of this is so exciting and then you will be tired and share things that you didn't want people to know about you in college..... Ooooops... You'll really regret this later in your college career.

4. New Student Orientation is going to be the worst week of your life.

If someone told you NSO week was going to be fun, THEY WERE LYING TO YOU.

You are going to have to play icebreaker games with a bunch of people that you don't know; pretend like you care about what these strangers did over the summer; sit through seminars that really are just pointless; all the while trying to not fall asleep.

Because apparently snoring in the middle of a seminar is not "socially acceptable" pshhh....

5. Babysitting has a whole new definition when you enter college. 

Babysitting

[bey-bee-sit-ing] verb

1. The sober friend that "gets" to play mother/father on any given night 2. The driver that makes sure everyone gets from place to place that night without dying 3. The person that makes sure that you don't suffocate from your own vomit in your sleep.

Make sure that if you're babysitting, they buy you food or give you cash for all of your hard work. Think about it this way; you took the chance of them puking all over your car AND you saved them from going home with a person they had just met. Paying you is the least they could do. The smell of puke just doesn't go away.....

6. You had to flush at home, and guess what! YOU STILL HAVE TO AT COLLEGE.

That tuition your paying is not for a personal flusher. Seriously, the worst thing about Freshman dorms is that you have to use the communal bathrooms. So don't be an ass wipe, (ha, pun intended) just flush the toilet. It's already traumatic enough to have to constantly poop with other people coming in and out, the least you could do is not leave last night's Chinese food for everyone to walk in on.

7. You really don't have to get dressed up for the dining hall.

But actually, this is not a formal dinner on prom night. Pull your hair up or put on a hat, it doesn't really matter. By the end of the second week you're going to have seen everyone in the sweatpants and t-shirt they went to sleep in the night before. You just don't have to wear a ball gown or tux to get food. You really don't.

8. You've heard of the "Freshman 15" right? 

You will gain the Freshman 15. Accept it. Move on.

Oh, and it is okay for Taco Bell to be considered a food group.

*****Remember you're a poor college student*****

9. Buy Febreze; it will be your best friend.

Laundry will become the bane of your existence, I think I went a whole two months without doing it and it was the biggest mistake ever. However you will have to make time for it or invest in some heavy duty Febreze to help make some of it last for two-three wears. You may think it is gross now, but you won't understand until you have four exams and one clean pair of leggings.

10. You're not paying $40,000 a year to go to parties, sorry about it.

Seriously, college is fun and all, but you are there to get your degree. So actually try, it isn't that hard! Remember, you get what you give!

******BONUS ADVICE******

I don't care who you are, partying on a Wednesday is a bad idea.

I mean come on, IT'S A WEDNESDAY.

Like there are two more days in the week left.

As my friend Allen would say,

Swirl it up people.

SWIRL. IT. UP.