Okay, I have a small confession to make. I downloaded this app on my iPhone. It's not really a productive or informative app; it's just an app. A simple entertaining app that I can use to twittle away at while I'm waiting for my flight or while I'm line for my Non-fat, soy, vanilla chai latte with extra squad goals and caramel drizzle.
Alright, I confess. It's the new Kendall and Kylie game. Developed by GLU.
I thought I could resist the temptation. But, in the number 1 spot on the app store, that was difficult. I loved playing the Kim Kardashian Hollywood game for some reason and I honestly have no idea why I picked up that game in the first place either. But, I think it's because I got swept up in the fantasy of living the high life in Beverly Hills while people around worshiped me and pried on my every move. I could never be that way. In reality, It's a miracle if I get past the first round of cuts at an audition let alone book anything.
Alright, forget about it. I'll stop boring you with the innate details of my hum-drum life and tell you about the things I learned while playing the new Kendall and Kylie game.
1. Kendall and Kylie are very LGBT friendly.
Well, I'm not sure if "LGBT friendly" is the right terminology. The game portrays most of the guy characters as gay. Guys are even allowed to go on fake dates with other guy characters for in-game points based on how many actions you click on. It's good that the two sisters are inclusive. But, sometimes they go a little bit too far.
What's wrong with normal street clothes?
Besides the fact that all of the male starting options for clothes are really metrosexual: At one point in the game, you have to charm your way past a bouncer in order to get into a press event. The bouncer looks like this...
I hate to sound like a prude, but this bouncer kinda looks like something ripped straight out a WOWReport clickbait ad. But, that doesn't mean that sweet Kendall and Kylie are mocking us gays. They wouldn't. How would that make their secret entourage of GBFs feel? Not to mention the teenage boys who sit all day behind their computers and on their phones constantly tweeting/facebook/instagram commenting at the girls saying "OMG YESSS MOM YOU ARE SO GOALS I LOVE YOU YOU GIVE ME LIFE YASSSSS HUNNY SLAYYYY COME TO BRAZIL!!!!!!" I know it's a little mean, but all I'm saying is that this one-dimensional portrayal is problematic. Also, not to go all SJW on the girls. But, no representation of LGBT women or non-binaries? Tisk Tisk.
2. Everybody wants to be a Style Vlogger.
It's serious; dixie chicks serious. The most important thing about dropping out of school and moving into a run down apartment in the bad part of Santa Monica? Making sure that your contour is on point and you're winged eye-liner is on fleek. Especially if you want to sit around all day and make style vlogs and makeup tutorials instead of getting a real job. You didn't have to move out to Santa Monica. You didn't have to drop out of school to live in this hovel that you now call home, and you don't have to contribute to the already skyrocketing amount of poor content about how to put on Sephora lipstick that's already polluting my facebook feed.
3. Your social media stats define who you are as a person.
Don't talk to me unless you have enough instagram followers to get picked for an Audible.com campaign. I only hang out with people who are the goalest of goals. You only have 300 followers? I don't see you as a person. I see you as a basic fool who is desperate for attention and bougie and nothing you say or do will ever matter to anyone!
I'm kidding. I'm seriously kidding. I only have 300 instagram followers, all so very loyal and kind. But, I'm honestly baffled how social media has turned into this counter of a person's worth. It shows with this game. The amount of social media followers you have in-game sits there in the top-right corner of your screen mocking you as you grab for stars and dollar bill signs. When the game starts up, one of the tips that shows up on the load screen is "The more followers you have, the better opportunities you have." They make it sound like your social media presence is the only thing that matters and that bothers me. If you really want to promote yourself as an artist then, use your powers to promote your work. Use your channels to showcase how hard you're working on your craft by documenting the process. Don't just blast your followers with selfies and challenge responses. Have substance.
Overall. It's a cute game. It's a shallow game, and I'm not big on Kendall and Kylie as people after seeing them on their TV show. But, I'm not going to stop you from playing it nor am I going to say that they are horrible people. But, I feel a 100% need to question their influence on society. If Jessica Willams made a game similar to this, I would be all over it. But, she is too good for this sort of thing. Now if you'll excuse me. I have to log back in to finish my campaign at Gretta's Salon.
