I needed to go away to college. There was not a doubt in my mind that I was getting out of the house and going anywhere except the college in my town. When I decided to go an hour away the conversations with my friends began. Things like, “You’ll visit every weekend!” and, “We’ll FaceTime, AT LEAST, three times a week!” Everyone says that college will change you but I was determined it wouldn’t.

The first couple of months at college staying in touch with my friends weren’t an issue. I always texted them, I always called them; I always made sure they were doing well. Meanwhile, I was balancing an interesting and fun life as a college freshman and a new workload.

After a while I started to notice a trend, I was texting them, I was calling them, I was making sure they were doing well. After I realized this, I became a different person. Being surrounded by all these new friends at college who care about you and hang out with you for being you, and I was stuck on my high school friends. That’s when I decided to STOP CARING.

“You care too much what everyone thinks about you.” I heard this quote from at least 6 people every week. I often agreed and said there was nothing I could do about it, it was just who I was. When I got to college something clicked, I saw that I wasn’t living my life, just going through the motions. I tried so hard to be liked in my town, trying to fit in, and trying to have friends. I was exhausted throughout high school because I wasn’t living my life as me.

So I stopped texting, I stopped calling, I stopped checking up on social medias. I know people live off new gossip, and I know I was feeding them with the new drama they needed. Don’t be afraid to be known as “the bitch” if that’s what’s going to make you happy. I hope for every other girl living as I did, it one day clicks for you as it did for me.

Sometimes at night I think to myself- “Were they ever actually my friends? Or just another warm body filling the void?” I hope all of my high school friends live their lives as they want too, and grow up to be successful. Just like an ex-boyfriend, my ex-friends will too move on and find new and better people for their lives. No grudges, no hate, no pain. College is a time for new friends, and new experiences: remember that.