Keep Your Popularity, I Want The Outcasts

Keep Your Popularity, I Want The Outcasts

YOU ARE YOU, and you are more of a masterpiece than The Mona Lisa.
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This article is for the people who never had it. This is for the people who grew up getting picked last for kickball. This is for all the people who grew up believing they weren't enough. For all the kids who are going to grow up not wearing designer clothes and shoes that are designed to make us value those above our own souls, know that you are blessed. You are blessed because you will grow up to learn that who you are under those clothes matters more than a name on a tag.

I see so many of my friends posting pictures on Instagram with their new Jordans or a bag from Victoria's Secret full of new clothes, only to find out later that they spent their entire paycheck on that one bag or that one pair of shoes. You don't need those clothes or those shoes to be a good person or a "cool person". What's "cool" is to sit next to the kid who no one else wants to sit next to. To offer a hand to that child who at the tender age of seven, is already drowning in an ocean of societal pressure. Being a seven year old in 2017 holds the same social pressures of a 14-year-old. We read in my Childhood Development class that between the age of 7-12, the opinions of peers begin to matter more than the opinions of parents. When I was young, I don't think I wanted anything more in my life that I wanted to be liked by my peers, and that's something I rarely got, and it crushed me.

This is for the people who were forgotten about. This is for everyone who we avoid talking about. This is for the people who weren't wrapped in designer silk, and their peers made them unravel. This is for the kids who spent their nights wrapped in their bed sheets trying to cope with their day. For the people who have anxiety and depression pulling them back and forth like two drunk parents fighting over their child in a nasty divorce. Words fly like bullets in their head until they numb themselves enough to fall asleep. This is for the Hannah Bakers of the world, who were too far gone to bring back. Who opened up their arms and let the roots of their family tree spill on their bathroom floor, growing a new tree watered by tears of the ones left behind. This is for the ones who light up the night sky in the stars because their lights were too dimmed in this world.

This is for the girls who have been robbed. Who had a man come with a Joker's smile and steal something that they had no right to take. For the young women who were tormented over the phone by their fellow women, who call them a slut so much it becomes a nickname. For those who were told they were loved for temporary satisfaction, and then tossed away, having their minds scrambled, like eggs in the morning. For all those who go days without eating because they've been told that who they are is not good enough.

No matter who you are, where you are, this article is for you. If you're alone, with friends, or with the love of your life, this article is for you. Know that you ARE enough, you ARE loved, you ARE NOT what they say you are. YOU ARE YOU, and you are more of a masterpiece than The Mona Lisa.

Stay true to you my guys, gals, and non-binary pals.

Cover Image Credit: Elijah O'Donell

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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A College Student's Guide To Self-Care 101

A trend on the rise, self-care is becoming more and more prevalent.

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My social media sites have been exploding with mentions of self-care. Tweets about the concept are ever on the rise and I think it is important to explore the concept. Self-care practices have become increasingly common because people are ever interested in tending to their emotional and physical wellbeing.

Unfortunately, with the popularization of the concept comes misconceptions. Self-care is not strictly about "treating yourself" and face masks. Additionally, it encompasses growth, reflection, and change. So, without further adieu, here are my top ten self-care tips!

1. Learn to be by yourself

This one is harder than people would think at first. Everyone's personality is different and, therefore, their affinity to being alone will differ as well. However, as I mentioned before, self-care is not only about physical practices. It is about eliminating toxicity from your life. This means eliminating bad habits, which is achieved through reflection and acknowledgment of the problematic habituation. Being by yourself allows you to set your own goals for yourself without any influence from outside factors. Additionally, the ability to be by yourself aids in establishing good self-esteem and ensures that the relationships you allow in your life are true and special rather than just to pass time.

2. Accept compliments

I don't know how this became normalized or why, but I despise the fact that girls have been taught to downplay their confidence. If someone offers a compliment, smile and accept it. Positive feelings towards yourself should be integral parts of your thought processes. Additionally, pay yourself compliments. They don't have to be said out loud but appreciate the beauty that is your body. It does so much for you, the least you could do is appreciate it every now and then.

3. Hold yourself accountable

Like I said earlier, part of self-care is eliminating bad habits. The tendency to attribute one's own failures and shortcomings to external forces is self-serving bias and those with good self-esteem are guilty of it. It may be difficult to balance attribution and self-esteem but in order to achieve growth, you have to acknowledge your own faults. This will allow for clarity and for you to work towards achieving better habits.

4. Don't bottle up your feelings

I am especially guilty of not following this tip. Keeping to yourself may seem like the easier thing to do and, if you are like anything like me, you may hate being seen as an inconvenience. However, I know that if I bottle up for too long, I tend to shut down and then I won't be able to achieve anything. Expressing your feelings is okay. Crying is okay. Anger is okay. Emotion is okay.

5. Try new things

Take a yoga class. Volunteer. Go to a new restaurant. Anything that pushes you out of your comfort zone incubates growth. You don't even have to enjoy everything you do, you just have to try. However, you may also find a new passion because of it.

6. Get some sleep

Don't spend all your time sleeping and lose all motivation to do anything, but make a conscious effort to get sufficient sleep so that all of your days can be as efficient as possible. You will be more energized and your immune system, as well as your physical appearance, will thank you.

7. Don't force yourself to do things you don't like

I know I said to try new things. However, if your best friend loves running and you go with her one day and find out you HATE it, don't force yourself. Find what works for you through trial and error. You will be much happier with your own flow and it keeps you from developing resentment.

8. Learn to say no

All the women in my life are especially guilty of this. We spread ourselves too thin because we can't say no. This goes hand in hand with not forcing yourself to do things that you don't want to do. Saying no doesn't make you a bitch, it makes you strong and lets people know that you know what you want.

9. Say what you mean

Don't sugarcoat things. It will leave you feeling unfulfilled and, quite frankly, it's exhausting trying to tiptoe around what you really mean. Don't be rude or aggressive, rather assertive and straight forward. It will make you a better communicator and will take pressure off of you as well.

10. Finally, treat yourself

I said self care wasn't entirely about that. I didn't say it wasn't necessary.

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