I believe there is this unspoken notion that dads know everything.
Seriously.
As a child, they always had the right answers to our math homework, knew how to fix just about every broken toy, and could always make the monsters in the closet go away. We compared our dad to Einstein and Superman, only 10x better. There was nothing he could or could not do.
Fast forward 20 years later to our college years, and the idea that our fathers are insanely intelligent has never strayed away. And although we may not live right down the hall from him anymore, his knowledge and advice is only a phone call (or 20) away. If we're honest, there's no way I would still be surviving if it weren't for all the important (and sometimes dumb) questions I've had my dad answer these past few years. So, if you feel like your daddio thinks you are the most incompetent 20-something year old, here are a few of the most common questions and requests I have sent my dad's way.
"Dad, could I have some money?"
"Hey dad, yeah I know you know I just got paid but I calculated it all together and after all my rent, bills, and student purchases go through I'll have a whopping $12 to last me until the end of the month. Can I please have only $20? I promise I'll pay you back."
"Dad, I'm filling out my FAFSA and I need to know everything about your income."
"Okay, I need your social security number. And mom's social security number. Yes, I know she's right beside you. Just ask her, no dad, just tell me the numbers. Okay, how much did you make last year? WHOA, okay..."
"Dad, what's a W4?"
"So some people at work were talking about filling out a W4 and I was wondering if I needed to? Are you sure? They filled one out. I work with them. Okay so I do need to fill one out? How would I go about filling one out? What do I need to fill one out? Okay, can I just come home and you help me?"
"Dad, my car is making a weird noise."
"No I promise I'm not making this up. Every time I put on the brakes it makes this thud-thud-eeeeeee sound. That's not normal. And then sometimes it sounds like eeeeeeee-rrrrrrrrr-ahhhhhhh but it doesn't do that as much."
"Dad, what kind of light bulbs do I buy?"
"I'm at Walmart right now. Yes, I'm walking to the light bulbs oooh a sale on canvases, okay, no sorry I'm going to the light bulbs. Alright, what kind do I get? Okay, I don't see that kind. I see this kind. Holy cow it's $6 for light bulbs? Do I really need them? Okay fine I'll get them, but I'm not happy about it."
"Dad, why isn't mom answering her phone?"
"Hi dad. Yes, I was just wondering why my mother isn't answering her phone? What do you mean you're not with her right now; she's your wife. Well where is she? She isn't answering her phone what if something happened? Have you talked to her at all today, have you, oh, wait she's calling me back now okay thanks dad love ya bye!"
"Dad, I think I'm lost."
"Well, I think I'm lost. Yes, I already passed that. Then I took a left. No just kidding I took a right I definitely took a right. Okay, then where do I go? Are you sure? Okay I know I'm sorry Siri told me to go another way. Yes, dad I trust you more than Siri. Okay so say all of that one more time, and go slow..."
"Dad, I don't feel good. What should I do?"
"I've already tried that. No I don't think it's that. I think I'm gonna throw up, and my head hurts. No I haven't taken medicine what if I throw it up? Okay fine you are no help at all. Okay no I'm sorry, can you bring me some Charlie's Chicken please help me I'm sick."
"Dad, my air conditioning isn't working."
"It's set on 71 degrees, but it definitely doesn't feel like that. I know this because I'm literally sweating. My thermostat won't move up or down. Great now it went off. That's it I'm coming home and staying there because it is too hot. Yes it has batteries. Okay just kidding it doesn't have batteries so where do I get those?"
"Dad, are you busy?"
"No, nothing's wrong, I just wanted to see what was up. I just got out of class and I'm bored. What am I doing today? Well, I think I'm going to go to McDonald's and then Kayla and I are going to Walmart and then I'm gonna do some homework and then maybe nap I don't know what about you? Oh you're working, so you are busy? Shouldn't you be busy at work? Am I annoying you? Okay fine I'll let ya go. Alright I'll call ya later, you're awe-- hello? Dad?"
"Dad, I miss you."
"Guess what? I'm coming home this weekend! Aren't you excited? Yes, I know you'll have good food now that I'm home. No, I'm sorry I'm not staying forever. But I'll see ya soon! I love you too dad!"
