1. "I feel like I'm too busy writing history to read it."

Interesting. Could this be Kanye's way of telling the public that he is illiterate?

2. "50 is Eminem's favorite rapper. I'm my favorite rapper."

All right then, you're your own role model, I guess. No one loves you like Kanye loves Kanye.

3. "I don't even listen to rap. My apartment is too nice to listen to rap in."

Wait, but aren't you a rapper? Does this mean that you don't like your own music?

4. "If I was just a fan of music, I would think that I was the number one artist in the world."

Bro, you're sending some mixed messages here. Do you or do you not like your own music?

5. "I really appreciate the moments that I was able to win rap album of the year or whatever."

Wow, so sincere or whatever.

6. "Love your haters, they're your biggest fans."

I can't tell if this is really deep or really stupid.

7. "I don't care about what people think, because people don't think."

My above statement still stands.

8. "You basically can say anything to someone on an email or text as long as you put LOL at the end."

I'll keep that in mind for the next time I have to break up with someone or tell them someone died. Thanks, Kanye.

9. "You weren't perfect, but you made life worth it."

Kim is such a lucky woman.

10. "My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live."

Me too, buddy, me too.

11. "They say people in your life are seasons, and anything that happens is for a reason."

Alright, I actually really like this one, it's pretty true.

12. "Believe in your flyness...conquer your shyness."

Now I understand why he's such a good rapper. It's because of these dope rhymes.

13. "One of my biggest Achilles heels has been my ego, and if I, Kanye West, can remove my ego, I think there's hope for everyone."

At least he knows he has a big ego.

14. "I want the world to be better! All I want is positive! All I want is dopeness!"

He's got a point. Dopeness= better world.

15. "Sometimes people write novels, and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed."

You don't say.