I have a brother whom I love, and who sometimes says some seriously hilarious stuff. If you don’t believe me, just read for yourself. I guarantee you at least one line he's said will make you spit out your water from laughter. If you know him personally you know I tell no lie. You can check out our weekly VLOGS to see the man himself in action. I hope this makes your day a little brighter, he never fails to make me smile, so enjoy!
Justin Says: Fitness and Health
I told him I ate only 1200 calories for the whole day:
1. “You gone pass out in your sleep.”
We read about an overweight vegan:
2. “He must be on and off. On in his sleep, off when he up.”
While I was running on the treadmill he walked in with a chocolate chip cookie:
3. “Who told you could better yourself? Eat this cookie. It's warm too.”
4. “Here she is,” pointing at me, “in all her gluttony.”
I was holding a bottle of water.
Justin Says: Fashion
5. “You're dressed conservative today.”
It was Sunday.
6. “You wearing plaid in the fall? What are you some kind of fashion expert?”
I was wearing a jean skirt.
7. Justin: Never seen a jean skirt before. What's those people that wear skirts?
Me: Girls?
Justin: No, it's another type.
Justin Says: Celebrities/Entertainment
After struggling to find the name of the actress that we knew from 12 Years a Slave and American Horror Story
8. Justin: It was Sara Pausley who played her
My other brother: Cerebral Palsy is a disease.
NOTE: They were both wrong
9. “Rihanna ain't Jamaican. She's barbarian.”
NOTE: This doesn’t mean he thinks she’s an animal or something, he just didn’t know what to call someone from Barbados XD
Justin Says: School
It was about to rain and we realized we had no umbrella, right before we were supposed to head to class.
Me: I guess we gotta run
10. Justin: No. I'll drive home. I'm not about to suffer for no class. They'll be available again on Wednesday
11. “I'll be right back after this dumb test. If only I could figure out how to pass it.”
On the way to class we saw a guy in the car in front of us frivolously brushing his hair.
12. “He brushing hard. He brushing his thoughts. Tryna iron them out for the test.”
Justin Says: Politics
After seeing a guy wearing a Trump shirt.
13. “Everybody want an opinion.”
Justin Says: Life
While I’m driving, a car pulls out in front of me.
Me: Hey!
14. Justin: Did you die? (short pause) Then keep living.
15. “Ain't nobody gone stop this train. Toot toot.”
16. “Be careful how you make your bed in the morning—at the end of the day, you're the only one that has to sleep in it.”
