I've always wanted to travel, it is what my bucket list is primarily made of: far off places I've only ever dreamed of seeing. Places so beautiful words couldn't do them justice and pictures just weren't quite as good as the real thing.
It sounded so simple, just pick a place, make a decision, sort out some details and go. It's one of the big reasons I put off starting my college education. No one has time or money to travel when they have to be working to pay off student loans. Plus, it wasn't as though I knew what I even wanted to do for school. I've always known I wanted to write, but it's not exactly an easy thing to make a living doing. Sometimes it seems impossible. So I worked and I saved and it wasn't long before I was able to afford my first plane ticket to England. It was everything I had dreamed of and more! I went for two weeks in May of 2015. I got to see all the touristy things, but I also got to see how the locals lived thanks to my now sister-in-law.
By the the time I came back and had been living at home for a few months I was already itching to return. Or at the very least go somewhere! Unfortunately, traveling takes money, traveling internationally takes significantly more money. The conundrum I faced was this: if I found a stable job that I liked and payed enough for me save up sufficient money to go on adventures to every corner of the earth, would I be able to get the necessary time off to do so? It's hard enough just finding a job that I like, much less the rest of it. It is because of this that my job history looks a bit sketchy on my resume. I just can't seem to help chasing happiness, I refuse to settle for being unhappy in a mediocre job.
But as you grow up, life finds ways to tie you down, it starts out small. An insurance payment for instance, a cell phone bill, soon enough it's car payments. By then, you can't afford not to work, you need to work to be able to pay for the car that brings you to and from work. I've managed to keep restrictions like these limited. I don't have student loans or rent like most people my age. The more you try to improve your personal life, the harder it becomes to find time to go on adventures, to see the world.
Your so called freedom gets more and more limited until you're stuck at a dead end job, barely managing to keep your bills payed and your car on the road. Feeling trapped in the same little town, doing the same mundane things, week-to-week, month-to-month year after year. This is my biggest fear: stagnant mediocrity. Living a life that I can't do what I want with all because it started with a few bills. I need freedom, I yearn for adventure, for the opportunity to do more, to see more!
There are times when it seems so utterly hopeless, like I'm just sitting, waiting for my life to actually start. Then there are moments, moments where it feels like everything I could possibly want is at my fingertips and all I have to do is reach out and take it. Because if I don't, who will?
