The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines a wallflower as: an herb with showy flowers or a shy or reserved person. I find this particularly interesting because of the conflicting descriptions. How can one word encompass both something beautifully unique and someone painfully timid? Our perceptions of a wallflower most likely resemble a dark-haired, not terribly social Charlie from The Perks of Being a Wallflower. In reality, it could be someone like Charlie or it could be someone everyone knows, but does not really know.
Growing up I treated phone calls and meetings similar to a trip to get a tooth pulled or shot given. I dreaded visits to the doctor and tours of college campuses. I cringed in stores without a self-checkout. Parties and mingling with new people were two of my least favorite pastimes.
Now that I am entering my sophomore year of college, I recognize some of these to still be true; however, I have spent the summer making phone calls as an Orientation Leader and I am in an organization that gives tours to prospective students. As for the others? Well, those all still apply. After reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower, I romanticized these shy and withdrawn traits in myself. Life is enriched by experiences you were initially scared of or did not plan for. More importantly, your life is usually a reflection of those you surround yourself with.
If you do not have anyone or anything you feel strongly for, that says a lot about yourself. If you are positive, chances are your friends are too. Coming in to my first year of college, I realized all the people I was envious of were not holed up in their dorm all weekend watching Netflix. They were involved. They felt passionately enough to be involved on campus. I learned it is okay to not be overly outgoing and happy all the time. It is normal to be sad and crave a weekend with zero human interaction. You are limiting yourself and those around you by not getting to know your environment whether that be through one person or an entire organization.
I still occasionally stutter on campus tours and mentally prepare what I will say before I make a phone call. I play Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off” to calm my nerves before every interview I have had this past year. I fly through seasons on Netflix embarrassingly fast. This past weekend I stepped out of my comfort zone and went zip-lining with a group of people I hardly knew. Despite feeling like my heart was going to fly out of my chest while zooming above, familiar faces yet unfamiliar people, it was worth it.
Simply put, flowers need water in order to reach their full potential. We are the same. Humans need social interaction in order to thrive. Just like flowers need a good environment to grow in, so do we. By surrounding yourself with people or a group you feel passionately about, your growth will be endless.
