One of the emotions that I experience most frequently is the feeling of missing someone. Some people can go weeks or months without seeing a close friend or family member and feel okay. I don't. When I feel very close to someone, I not only want to be with them frequently, I feel like I need to be with them frequently. I feel unable to wait more than a week or so to be with them and when I am forced to be apart from them for several months, it hurts a lot. I have several dear friends, who have either transferred away from Greenville College, have graduated or are so busy that I hardly get to hang out with them. I talk to them on the phone sometimes, though not often enough, and it helps a little, but not nearly as much as I need it to. Phone chats are great, but I long for so much more when I am close to someone. Without being able to hug a friend, be near them, and see their expressions and read their feelings in their eyes, I don't feel like they are fully with me. I know that I have to learn how to be patient, how to be secure, how to wait to be with my loved ones without feeling extremely pained and lonely for them, but so far, it's been a lesson I have yet to learn. And what really makes me sad, is that I am losing so much precious time to be with these people that I love so much. I hate to think of all the weeks and months that we spend a part, all the time that we could've shared together, if our circumstances were different. I know that I can't change the fact that many of my loved ones live far away, or have such busy lives that we can hardly ever get to visit. I can't control the fact that some of my dear college friends will have to transfer for various reasons, and that even if they don't transfer, they will graduate and leave and I can't change the fact that some of my friends just can't seem to find the time and space in their lives for us to have frequent visits. I know I have no power over these circumstances and that is one of the things that makes it so hard. I know that no matter how much I ache to be with a loved one, I know that no matter how frequently I tell them, "I miss you so much," that it won't bring them any closer, it won't change their circumstances one bit, it won't make me miss them any less. I hate feeling like I'm an emotional, clingy mess when it comes to friendships, I hate feeling like I am always pestering my friends, begging them to come visit, to make time to hang out, begging them to text and call me more, and yet I keep doing it, because my longing overcomes my fear of being a bother or making them feel bad. Somehow, I feel like I have to do something to bring them closer. I feel an overwhelming unrest if I don't at least tell them how often I think of them, how much I wish we could hang out. I feel afraid that if I don't persist and tell them how much I love them and miss them that they might never come back, that they might forget me or stop caring about me. I feel like I have to try, in whatever way I can, to hold onto my loved ones, especially when they are not often with me. I am tired of worrying about losing friends, tired of aching cause I miss them, and I'm tired of saying, "I miss you," but I can't seem to stop.