Just Another Girl With Crushed Dreams
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Just Another Girl With Crushed Dreams

Dream crushers, leave me alone.

Just Another Girl With Crushed Dreams

For so long, all I've wanted is to be an author. I want my words to fill the pages of a novel, line after line, chapter after chapter. I want to create characters that are relatable and make readers feel like they're not alone in this crazy world. I want to my readers to think about the story long after they've turned the last page and closed the back cover. I want my characters to connect with readers on such a personal level that they feel a little bit of themselves intertwined in the story. I want to walk into a bookstore (yes, a real bookstore. Not an online store. I'm talking tangible books, bindings and fresh, crisp pages) and see my novel on the shelves, my name in bold on the cover for everyone to see. "Rachel Raupp," it will read across the bottom (or top, I'm not too picky).

I used to really like this guy who, when he found out I wanted to write a book, laughed at me like a child who lost their lunch money and said, "You're not going to write a book." Needless to say, he was a heartless piece of crap.

In addition to that, I was just recently told by someone that journalism was not a good field to go into and I had a battle ahead of me. I was told I was making a big mistake. Well, thank you, thanks so much for telling me how you really feel. Please don't hold back.

Then, every time I write an article and it gets very few shares, I tell myself I cannot be a writer because no one wants to read what I'm writing nor do they want to share it for others. This is just another way I let social media make me feel like I'm not good enough.

I have so many people telling me I can't do something, so many people telling me I'm setting myself up for failure, and even social media telling me I can't make my dreams come true because of how many shares I get.

Meanwhile, I'm just like:

I try to write nice articles for you guys. I do. But, then I get so caught up in what you'd like to read that I lose sight of what I actually like writing about. If I pour my heart and soul into an article that I think is meaningful and inspiring, even spreading the truth for those who are too scared to do it for themselves, then it gets minimal shares and I'm sitting here, stunned that nobody gives genuine material the time of day. Then, when I write superficial articles like "7 Reasons You Should Date A Bad Boy" and it gets more shares than I could've imagined and I get pissed off because it's a senseless and shallow article (and there are actually zero good reasons to date a bad boy). And, to me, that's just sad and pathetic. We are such a superficial society and we all only care about ourselves and how we look to others. We are so shallow that we couldn't appreciate anything meaningful and significant even if it were to hit us right between the eyes and have a neon sign flashing above it.

I don't know what to write about anymore, you guys. Nothing I write is good enough. Nothing I do is good enough. My dreams are too big. My results are too small...Is that what everyone really wants to hear? That I quit? Fine, I quit; no more writing. I'll pursue a job in the marketing/business field; I'll wear sky high heels and tight skirts in order to get all the corporate men to do what I want and I'll live a continuously unhappy life because I spent the majority of it pursuing a career I had no interest in simply because it's the easier route, the safer route, the more predictable route. This is not to insult those in the business field; it's just not for me. That's not my passion.

I seem to be the only one who thinks my dream can be a reality. Or, at least ready and willing to try to make it a reality.

Do not tell me I can't do something because I might actually start to believe it. I might actually start to believe I'm incapable of writing a heartwarming novel or that I'm not talented enough to rack up enough shares for Odyssey. Once again, this goes back to social media trying to dictate everyone's lives and everyone letting it dictate their lives. But, that's a rant for another time.

Please don't tell me my dreams are too much or too hard. I'm well aware of this. If you think I haven't had at least five breakdowns about my future then you're very, very wrong, my friend. But, it's my future. No one else's. And, it'd be a hell of a lot easier to reach my goals if I didn't have people trying to shove me down as I'm racing along. I need people who will root for me, who will read every single word I write regardless of whether it's about equality for women or about how dogs are the cutest species in existence. I need supporters. And, if you're not a supporter, there's no reason for you to even continue reading (if you haven't already stopped). If you're not a supporter, I'm going to kindly ask you to take your opinion and shove it.

At least let me try. Let me try and fail. Let me try and succeed. Let me try, and whatever happens happens. But, at least I can say I busted my ass to get whatever result I may get, not sat down and gave up without a fight.

If you are still reading, thank you. I wasn't sure where this article was heading when I started it and I'm not sure what I've just written, but it's real and it's raw, which is all I can offer you right now. I can't be superficial and shallow at the moment.

If you've ever had a dream or a goal and have been told it's impossible or too much work, please share this. If you're tired of our millennial society being so wrapped up in "likes," please share. If you only want your supporters by your side, please share. If all you want is to put in the time and effort to even try to make your dream come true, please share.

This article was not written for the purpose of getting shares. It was written as a way for me to clear my head of these frustrating and negative thoughts in hopes that maybe one other person in this world will be able to relate and not feel alone. If one other person can relate to this in the slightest way, then I know this article has made a difference.

We all have dreams. We all have goals. We all have people who want to tell us we are crazy and wrong. I may be crazy but I'm on a mission to show I'm not wrong; I'm right.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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