Recently, I have found myself in situations where I feel like crap based of decisions I make. I feel like this because I have this irrational fear of what other people will think of me.
Even though I am an extremely confident person, I still struggle with the usual first impressions, boys opinions, and friends opinions as well.
Since I was little, my mother preached to stand on my own and not care what others think, and although she is so right, it is so hard to truly not care what anyone thinks of you, or even wonder if people do think about you. Especially as a 19-year-old college student who's decisions are being closely watched by 200 of my closest friends. *Sarcasm intended*
So yeah, I always think that what I say and do is going to reflect others opinions about me and I just came to this realization that is not only absurd but complete bullshit.
Let's put it all on the table.
When I drink, I often make some silly decisions. As a college student, I think that is relatively normal but have newly adopted this mentality that the silly thing I said or did at a bar is going to impact peoples decisions of who I am for the rest of my college career.
OMG WRONG ISABELLE.
Seriously I needed a self-intervention. So finally giving myself one. Here's what I came up with.
To the people who do not know me but judge me because of what I said and did that one night a few weeks ago, screw you. And to the people who make assumptions about who I am based on others opinions, screw you also. You are truly not relevant in my life and I seriously do not care what you think about me.
First things first, maybe get to know me. Then make your assumptions.
I am way too hard on myself when it comes to what others think. And you know what?
I do not even know why.
I truly do not care what people think and think I just lost sight of that. I put this immense amount of pressure on myself to try to conform to what I think people would prefer of me but know that is so wrong. I am done pressuring myself to be someone I am not. I am sick of caring what other people think.
Those silly crazy things I do should be celebrated and laughed about and it is time to surround myself with more people who do that. Not the irrelevant people who waste their time judging me when they do not even know me.
What I am saying here is genuinely applicable to everyday life as well. Our society is so caught up in judging other people because of social media and first impressions it makes me nauseous. I am not a saint and have caught myself doing this so I am here to not only apologize for that but to shut this irrational system down.
Although it can be so easy to see a picture of someone and immediately make a judgment, I want to challenge the judgy people and myself to refrain from doing this. It literally helps no one and puts so much negativity into the universe and no one needs that.
So to come full circle, to the people who judge me:
Thank you, you are my motivation to keep being silly and weird. Thank you for giving me the realization that you are powerless and not capable of breaking me, my decisions, or my beliefs.
