A while back, I asked my Facebook friends how they defined “adulting”. They each answered in many different ways.

“Making your own appointments”

“When you maturely accept your faults and work diligently to make alterations”

“Starting your retirement fund”

“When you see the tuition bill and it’s your responsibility”

The list could go on but the for the most part, everyone has their own way of adulting.

Being an adult has to be both the most exciting and the most frightening thing about life. When you are a child, you dream about what it would be like to be an adult. A child’s theory of an adult can be summed up in every episode of the popular 90’s sitcom Rugrats.

I can’t remember verbatim what I envisioned being an adult would be but I certainly didn’t think I would grow up in such a world full of uncertainty. Writer Courtney Martin in her 2016 TED talk spoke about the current generation, “millennials,” being the first generation where generations before them were not certain they’d be “well off.” Referencing the change in economy, the change in climate, and even the change in everyday culture, Martin outlined different ways millennials are “redefining the American Dream.”

Along with the redefining the American Dream, the definition of adulting is once again being revised.

My parents are of another generation. Both born just on the crisp of the Baby Boomer generation, my parents are similar to just about every parent of a millennial- supportive but uncertain.

My mom was born on the eastside of San Antonio, Texas. My dad was born in Mobile, Alabama. Both of them came of age around the 1980’s and 1990’s, when the final act of what we knew as the American Dream was coming to a close. Between the two of them, they have my sister and me.

My sister and I had the privilege to grow up worlds away from that of our parents. To say we don’t know “hard times” is more than an understatement. Both of my parents did not have parents who were college educated. Both of my parents grew up in low-income neighborhoods. But each of them dreamed of a better life as an adult than the life they lead as children.

Our childhoods were the byproducts of our parents’ quest for the American Dream.

Our parents worked day in and day out to move to the Northwest side of San Antonio, Texas. We lived in a brand new suburban neighborhood. We each were in our own share of extracurricular activities, from YMCA to Gymnastics. We had and went to sleepovers. We went to good and safe schools. We both graduated from prestigious private colleges.

Now, here we are, in our twenties, in our parents’ shoes, becoming “adults”.

Since the start of the new millennium, the American Dream has been focused on materialism such as cars, a big house, jewelry, vacations, and cash. But since the 2008 recession, many millennials bear the brute of dealing with a life they did not create. Though it has gotten better in the last eight years, uncertainty still looms around the corner.

As a recent college graduate, I thought about constantly over and over what I was going to do after graduation. Like many of my co-millennials, I graduated with debt, have a “good paying” full time job, taking it one day at a time. Though we may not have the life we had as children, it does not mean it is any less of the American Dream or any less adulting.

I may not have a big house, a nice car to drive, or take a vacation every year. But my adult life so far is in the same thread of the beginnings of a new definition of adulting. I graduated with two degrees, I traveled to Europe, I may live at home but with my “big boy” job I can pay bills, put gas in my car, and go out with friends from time to time.

As millennials, we have our own dreams. We have our ideas about the lives we lead. Though there may be some hints of uncertainty and frustration, one thing we have learned from our parents is things change all the time.

The fact we live in such a tentative time makes room for uncertainty and excitement.

To answer my own question, I define adulting by not knowing….but still living anyway.