In this brief amount of time between my ugly breakup and now, I’ve been on the road to recovery.

It’s evident that this breakup made me feel an unbearable pain. Three months later and I still feel the same pain, but I think now it’s finally starting to dissipate. And I know the pain will never truly go away, but at least be a distant memory from time to time.

Everyone copes differently. After I realized nothing could be changed, I tried to move on. I started getting to know other guys and giving them the privilege to know me. I soon caught on that it was a mistake, letting them in that is. Again, my vulnerability was causing me to get hurt. If it wasn’t one thing, it was the other. Whether it was getting left in the dust with no explanation or standing by the excuse of having too much going on in life to handle something serious.

I’ll admit that I was just about ready to give up on guys. I was convinced they were all assholes. I didn’t understand why I was constantly getting treated so poorly. I thought I had done something wrong or maybe something was wrong with me.

But I should’ve known better. I knew that wasn’t the case.

I didn’t want pretentious guys to take over my mind and change the way I thought about myself. I knew that I was worth more than what those guys perceived about me. Although they may not have been as awful as I tell it to be, I was still hurt by the outcome. I didn’t want these situations to become reoccurring events anymore.

But to my surprise, a certain someone who I claimed to be cute in high school recently came into the picture. And I know what you’re thinking. Oh, she found another guy. Oh, another typical love story. Well it may be typical, but I didn’t care. I finally noticed a positive change for once.

Yes, I found him different from any guy I’ve dated. So far, he’s proved to me that he wasn’t like every other guy in this generation. He was endearing, corny, and romantic; all qualities that a handful of guys seem to lack. He cooked food for me when I didn’t ask, didn’t wake me when he’d have to leave, and even refused to let me open the car door for myself. It may be silly, but these little things bring me joy. This was an unknown feeling to me, being spoiled. I wasn’t used to it or at least not nearly this much.

Now I can say I’m ultimately happy again.

It’s not about jumping into love right away. It’s about taking advantage of the moments that make you smile instead of cry. Realizing that it’s okay to let yourself be happy after all the pain you’ve suffered. Discovering the courage to experience a new type of love. Plunging for a chance.

You’ll never know what could’ve been if you don’t aspire. My bridges have been burned badly, but he was able to save it from collapsing. It was like I was a dying flower and he was the water and sunlight to bring me back to life. I’ve blossomed into a stronger, more cautioned being. I’m absolutely content; I refuse to let anyone have the power of taking that away. This is my journey to a heartbreak recovery and I get to choose how I write this story.