One of the most troublesome concerns I had entering my freshman year of college was the fear of being alone. I seriously felt like I was entering middle and high school all over again. Who would I walk to class with? Who do I sit with in the cafeteria? Who do I hang out with back in the residence halls? How awkward will it be to brush my teeth in a washroom full of strangers?
If you’re one of those lucky people who had a best friend from the time you entered elementary school until the time you graduated your senior year of high school, can we know your secret? I used to consider it unfortunate that I never really found my true niche, my own little place where I fit in, but now, I’m thankful for it. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Before you call me insane, let me let you in on a little secret: college is a life-changing experience, and that’s coming from someone who has only been a freshman for less than four months.
After what seems like forever, I’ve found someone who means as much to me as I mean to them. I’ve found a best friend in my short time here, and I’ve found a place, my true calling. Here’s a few things about my time in college so far—my journey to my best friend and finding my true niche.
1. When people say that there are a lot of new faces at college, they’re not joking.
You associate with people in college that you’d never even pictured yourself talking to. I say hello to people every day that I wouldn’t have dared to talk to as my high school self, but what I’ve learned is that people aren’t as you’ve always thought. There are some really amazing people out there, so don’t limit yourself to those you’re used to, and don’t judge a book by its cover; that tall, intimidating-looking guy sitting next to you in class may be the kindest, funniest person you’ve ever met, and he might be just as nervous as you about making friends.
2. Take a chance and do things you never thought you would.
Even though you may think you’re not going to change, I was singing into a microphone for the whole campus to hear on the campus center portico the first month of school. And again the following month at open mic night. Before that, I was too afraid to sing in front of my own family at gatherings.
3. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and try to make friends.
I've met some of my kindest, best friends doing some of the most foolish, bizarre things, or by simply offering help to someone. I met one of my friends while making a waffle in the dining hall, and another I met through offering to help find books they needed for the upcoming semester. You’d be surprised to know how many people consider you a friend.
4. Your true friends will be here to stay.
Something I worried about at first was drifting apart from people if I didn’t have many classes with them or didn’t get to see them daily, until a friend told me this: “If I have a bad day over break, I’ll call you. If anything big happens, I’ll call you. If I have something funny to tell you, I’ll call you. But even if we don’t talk at all, as soon as we’re back at school, it’ll be just like we never left, and I’ll have so much to tell you, like I always do.” So, remember that, because that reassurance has stayed with me and helped me nearly every single day. Don’t let insecurities creep up on you about losing people. Just because you don’t see your friend every day, it doesn’t make your bond any less strong.
5. Finally, you’re going to make a best friend, even if you’ve never had one before. You’re going to meet someone just like you.
Accept friendship, and don’t push people away. People are your friends because they want to be. I’ll never forget when my new best friend said this to me: “When I think about me and my boyfriend, we’re like peanut butter and jelly. We’re good apart, but we’re better together. We balance each other out. You and I, we’re different, though. We’re like peanut butter and peanut butter. We’re the same. We’re like sisters.” Don’t rush things. Everything that's meant to happen will, and you'll come across someone from whom you’ll become inseparable. You’ll find someone who accepts you for exactly who you are, loves to be around you, and is the peanut butter to your peanut butter.
And that’s my journey so far.