"For many individuals that are afraid to follow that new path in life, I encourage you to embrace the positives and evade the negatives..." -Anonymous

There are no words to describe my pain,

Oh, how I wish these moments would go away.

Yet, they're back to terrorize me every day.

I am lost in a never ending game,

One day perhaps I'll finally plot my escape...

for now, these feelings are here and they will continue to stay.

There's no telling when this madness will reach its expiration date,

I'm only allowing it to control every bit of my faith.

As I'm lost in my own perpetual shame,

The blissful and vibrant days.

Turn from skies of haze

to clouds of gray.

It just may be an extended metaphor at play,

But it's the way that I feel every moment of the day.

I've tried so hard to see the sun's shining array

But all I see is darkness and rain.

Today, it's time for me to make my way

and end this life that has me dazed.

I'm searching for that inspirational change,

Perhaps it's God who has offered me his grace.

Is the answer found within my therapist's office, whom I've seen every Friday?

Is it found within my constant thoughts of self-hate?

These are all questions that have kept me hopeful and straight;

I'm no longer relying on the white stuff folks call, cocaine.

Maybe, tomorrow I will awake

to a new and glorious Sunday.

This is the beginning of a resilient stage,

I just have to keep this consistent pace.

The wise men always say

that, "Patience will greet you with a smile upon its face."

Honestly, I just came up with that brilliant phrase,

But it shows you how much I'm willing to correct my mistakes.

I only hope that I will escape this alluding fray;

I will break free from all its wretched bait!

It may have greeted me with praise,

But it's never made me feel at place.

Although some people may still see me a little insane,

I'm only fighting this demon every step of the way.

I can't prove whether this is a religious case,

But I do know it's time for me to change.

There's a title out there for me to claim

and it's written with my genuine name.

I've always felt like I was ready to break,

But I guess an angel didn't want to give up on me right away.

Everyday whether I write or enunciate,

I'll be ready to pray,

Welcoming God with all my faith.

As my mother prays to our holy saint,

I want her to remember that her love will keep me sane.

There's a world out there for me to relate,

I can seem to wait

Until the real journey initiates.

As Robert Frost did, I will embark on the difficult lane

Because that is the only way

I will learn to grow within these newborn days.

I will learn what it means to hold this symbolic name,

What it means to attend college in this state.

I may be miles away,

But my heart is always with East LA.

I might wear confidence upon my face,

but fear still forms a part of my shape.

I learned that I'm not a fake,

But a faithful warrior, who will seek the right amount of aid.

I'm neither weak, nor afraid

to finish this challenging race.

I am here to officially stay

and nothing is going to get in between my path to fame.