As we go through our normal, boring day to day routines as humans, we can’t help but think about what life would be like if we traded places with our dogs.
As our alarm buzzes and we head off to work or school, we think about the simplicity and effortlessness that comes with being our lovable hounds. While they get to lay in bed, have their meals always provided for them, and receive all of the attention and love in the world, we can sit at our desks and ponder how lucky our dogs are to be dogs and wish we could trade places.
Here are sixteen reasons I am jealous that I can’t be my puppy.
1. She gets treats every time she takes a bath.
If only someone sat there and handed ME food whenever I took a bath. Then I wouldn't have to figure out how to keep my chicken nuggets dry.
2. She is always getting new toys from Mom.
My mom spoils her with new toys every day, but if I spend too much at Marshalls or TJ Maxx, I get yelled at.
3. She never has to cook for herself and food is usually readily available.
Not only does she have her food on hand, but she also has someone to feed her. No cooking or preparation necessary. The dream.
4. Even when she’s a bad girl, she’s a good girl.
When she brings a dead lizard or squirrel to the porch, you want to scorn her, but can’t help but think she’s still cute for bringing you a present.
5. She’s the baby, the favorite, and therefore can do no wrong.
Regardless of whether or not I’m the actual youngest child and the fact that my mother didn’t actually birth her, she’s the favorite child. Even if she throws up on the carpet, eats the cats food, or brings a dead squirrel in the house, she still is more liked than my mom’s own children.
6. She can take a nap wherever she pleases.
Perhaps the greatest power of them all.
7. She is always receiving all the attention.
From strangers, owners, and friends alike, she is the constant center of attention. And if she’s not, she’ll let you know that she should be without receiving dirty looks.
8. She truly appreciates every ounce of quality time she spends with, well, everyone she has ever met.
Whether it is five seconds, five minutes or an entire day together, she makes the most of every moment.
9. When she sleeps in the bed, she always has the most room.
Without fail, she always ends up hogging the bed and her humans are too in awe of her cuteness to move her.
10. Exercising and going for walks are always wonderful and amazing rather than a burden.
Running is her forte and playing fetch is her life. If only going to the gym was as fun for me as exercising was for my dog.
11. She can use the restroom wherever and whenever she wants, no questions asked.
Whether it is on mom’s best rug or in public, she doesn’t seem to care.
12. Making new friends is never intimidating or difficult.
Making other puppy friends is her specialty. Big or small, Retriever or Dachshund, she will run, play, and enjoy their company.
13. Her drinks at Starbucks and Dunkin Donuts are always on the house.
Because she is cute and easy to please, she makes for a cheap date.
14. Everything is exciting and new. Always.
Whether it’s a leaf blowing in the wind or the cat twitching his tail, everything is a big deal and a new discovery.
15. She never has to clean up after herself. Ever.
Considering she doesn’t have opposable thumbs, I’m going to be her maid forever.
16. She won’t have to worry about her major, working hard to make good grades, filling up a resume, or getting a job.
I’m basically her sugar-momma.
