I'm not really sure why I decided to write this at 11:06 p.m. on a Wednesday night after spending three hours with a screaming 3-month-old, but it helps make this statement even crazier: I'm 20 years old and in the next five to 10 years I want to have babies.

There, it finally hit me after spending my entire summer break away from the stress of college dealing with the stresses of trying to understand baby screams and toddler talk. Many will read this and think a 20-year-old doubted herself wanting to have children one day? I promise, I am far from the only one, but what sets me aside from most millennials who swear off children every time one barely makes the face of utter destruction, is that I've grown really attached to the idea of producing mini forms of myself and whoever is lucky enough to wife me up.

Watching other people's babies, toddlers and children is great because you get experience (and money)! You also get to go home at night without a child and can sleep peacefully without the various wake ups for mommy or daddy. What I enjoy most is the way kids discover new things. They are constantly growing and learning the world around them. My two year old cousin and I tried cloud-watching together and we even pretended to take off in a rocket ship to lasso the moon to bring it to her mom and dad. I also make sure she is saying please if she demands something, which I follow with a thank-you and get a no problem in return.

The 3-month-old I watch every few weeks has already changed so much from when I first got to meet her. She's smiling more, definitely farting more and just seems to be taking more in as she learns every crazy thing this world has to offer.

I don't know why I doubted having children for a long time before this summer. Maybe it's the fact that I've always felt like a loner. I talked about having children with a past boyfriend and have even thought as far as baby names, but it never really settled that one day I may actually get to pop one out myself. I really think what changed was realizing a child really needs me.

Sure, the various aged kids I watch this summer need me too when I watch them, but once their mom and dad come home they don't need me anymore. I can't wait for the day where my kid(s) light up when I come home from work or randomly tell me they love me. I can wait for the 2 a.m. wake up calls right now, but once they happen I'll be ready for them, or at least I'll have to be ready for them. I especially can't wait to know what it feels like to be needed on a whole new level I don't think I've ever understood yet.

So, future husband, wherever you may be, I know you feel or will feel this way too because why would you put a ring on a millennial crazy enough to say they want babies one day if you weren't crazy enough too?

And to all the children I watch right now, especially my 2-year-old cousin, Maddison, thank you for showing me the ray of sunshine I needed in my life to understand and know that I want my own little rays someday.