I’ve been living like a prisoner. Here, there is no place for me. I am not valued, I am not trusted, and I am not thought to be educated. It’s hard being a prisoner here. With no support, and not much of anything besides failure. You see, this prison is different. It does not even function the way a normal prison functions. Here, I am subjective and have no say. I question myself asking, why can’t I seem to escape this prison? It’s poison to my mind. It Feeds me nothing but lies and deceit even in silence. The motives of this prison are not just, nor do they pursue justice. In fact, this prison is selfishly condemning all the wrong prisoners. Prisoners who aren’t really prisoners. Prisoners who just want to do the right thing and live a happy life. However, in this prison it is illegal to be happy. Happiness, creates distance naturally, and well, the wardens don’t take a liking to that. Besides, if the prisoners were happy, would it even be a prison? This is the trap that we, the prisoner, fall under. I mean who willingly submits themselves to prison if not for the people they love.

I’ve been living like a prisoner. Trapped by submission. Submission of my own. Submission caused by fear. The visitors don’t see what I see. For this prison seems healthy from the outside, but it is far from healthy. See, fear creeps through the walls, imbedding in the framework like hundreds of cockroaches devouring sweet wood. The visitors cannot see this pest, for they are not there throughout the night to hear them. Fear is the major pest in this prison. They reside in this prison, and the wardens have grown fond of them. The infestation just seems to grow the longer I remain. For these pests have made their way off the walls and now bite me night after night. These pests keep us prisoners here. Where is my exterminator? Will he come, or do I have to deal with these pests myself? I have to figure something out. I’m getting eaten alive here.

I’ve been living like a prisoner. No favors, no compassion, no answers are given. In this prison I am isolated, and only communicate with the pests. It’s sad to say that I have become quite acquainted with these pests. We see each other often. They are great manipulators you know. Sometimes they get me believing that we are friends. I remain manipulated for weeks on end before I realize I have been deceived. These pests are oh so coy and move swiftly. It’s hard to catch them in their tracks. I’ve been studying them lately. I want to get to know them so I can learn how to get rid of them. If I get rid of them, I might have a chance of escaping this prison.

I’ve been living like a prisoner. Retrieving information behind the scenes on how to escape this place. I’ve learned much about these pests who keep me here. I’ve learned that they seem to follow me wherever I go. It is not the prison they are attracted to. It’s the prisoners. You see, I have found that each prisoner has a different set of pests of their own. Mine just happen to be cockroaches. Since these cockroaches are attracted to me, I realized just how ugly I have allowed myself to become. I started to slowly fix myself back to the way I was before I was imprisoned. I realized all my personal flaws and started working on them. Before I knew it, the number of pests following me started to decrease. I must have done something right to become less attractive to these awful creatures. Day by day I work to fix these imperfections in me. I will keep working until these pests are gone and I can leave this prison.

See, I’ve BEEN living like a prisoner. However, I’m finally seeing the right way out. We all are a prisoner to something in our lives. Subsequently, we look over what got us there in the first place. Maybe it was fear, anger, or hatred towards someone, and we blame them for arresting us. But at the end of the day, we are the real people who imprison ourselves. So to my fellow inmates, study your “pests” and get rid of them. For they do nothing but keep you where you are, in prison.