“She’s playing you like a fiddle.”
I’ll never forget those words. I was in fourth grade at my Granny’s house after school with bruises all over my legs because my ‘friend’ had kicked me so many times. But she had convinced me it was just a game and that it was fun and I fell for it. And my Granny called it like she saw it.
That was the first toxic friend I had ever had, and I let that sort of thing continue for the next two years until I grew up and realized what she had been doing. Obviously, as a 21-year-old nobody is trying to kick me and say it’s a game. But the lesson I learned then has stuck with me for the rest of my life. True friends don’t want to hurt you. And you certainly don’t let them continue to if they do.
As adults we have to realize that life is going to suck a whole lot if we let people take advantage of us. Especially if it’s coming from our so-called friends. A friendship is where you both receive something good from the relationship. And when only one person is benefiting from the relationship then it’s not a real friendship. It’s what we call a toxic friend or better yet, frenemy.
A frenemy/ toxic friend is the person who is your friend when you’re helping them out, but when you need them they are nowhere to be found. They are the person who puts you down with sneaky comments about your appearance or your intelligence and say they’re just joking. They are the person who talks badly about you behind your back. The one who steals your love interest. The person who tries to drag you into their drama and lies to you constantly. And the one who knowingly hurts you and could care less because the only person they care about is themselves.. Toxic friends are all of those and so much more.
And you deserve better. You need what is best for you and that means friends who are going to support you and stick with you in the good times and the bad. And I’m not talking about that one time they helped you fix a flat tire. I mean real friends who you can actually count on and who can count on you in return.
It’s okay if your friends make mistakes, I mean we’re all human, right? But if they are constantly and purposefully hurting you, it’s time to stop the hurtfulness they are causing you to feel. Distance yourself from that person. Once they discover that you aren’t going to keep letting them push you around, they’ll move on to the next poor soul to torture.
I promise you won’t regret it.
