Reciprocity and transparency: two trends in American culture and modern public relations. Two words that build relationships and understanding within the human world. These are also themes that come up in conversations with strangers. It's easy to be forthcoming and blunt when you're talking with someone you don't know, because you really don't know the consequences of your words. Smiling at strangers in passing because we're mostly all decent people constitutes a friendly gesture and is fairly harmless. In times of uncertainty in a classroom, it's more than likely okay to admit to a neighbor "I really don't understand this, can you help?" and, "I didn't get that last line, could I check out your notebook?" We have become a culture that hides behind our phones in a (may I be so bold) stupid attempt to avoid communication with the people who are presently with us. Granted, no one is trying to make meaningless conversations anymore, but scrolling through your phone with your RBF is probably less flattering than actually engaging in a spoken conversation between you and a person rather than a keyboard (just saying, not sorry). We also have no problem conversing with people on the internet who we've never actually met in person. What is up with us?
I can understand why when we were young ladies and gentleman, that it was crucial we take our parents advice of "don't talk to strangers." But if you're old enough to go to college and listen to your college professor (who is a stranger, by the way), then it's seemingly okay to converse with any human. You're a stranger to others, but you deem yourself harmless. I work at a Barnes&Noble cafe and make hundreds of drinks for people I don't know, but they blindly trust me to serve them what they ordered. I just feel like it's time to give people the benefit of the doubt. We spend time hating others for what they believe in, but we never get to know them. We never take the time to understand where they're coming from or why they feel that way. Let's get to know the people who we don't understand so we can become more tolerant. It's not always easy, but if you practice humanity, you can become quite the learned person. It's immensely overbearing to always see controversy. *Cue crying girl* I just want us all to get along. I don't want to suggest that we force conversation or try to make others uncomfortable, but rather, step out of our comfort zones to acknowledge that interaction with people that we aren't familiar with. We all begin as strangers to one another anyhow.
As I waited for the bus to work one day, a black man and I were the only two there. I had gotten there early to sit down and bask in the sun after two tests. I was about to be at work for seven hours, so it was really important to me at the time to enjoy the 80 degree weather. I noticed him considering if I was someone he could converse with, and when he had the chance, he went for it. The man and I made eye contact, and he asked "Are you waiting for the bus?" And I thought to myself for a moment, "Damnit sir, yes. Obviously." But, I like to think I'm nicer than that, so I replied "Yes sir, I'm on my way to work." He scooted closer to me, still a comfortable distance between us so he could continue to speak to me. I had seen him at school events and shows, so I knew he was not homeless, although his dress would make you think differently. His face was recognizable to me, although I had not had a conversation with this man before today. So, I told him that, and he said, "I'm part of the multicultural program here on campus, have you heard of it before?" I realized that aligns with where I had seen him before — at open events with speakers who had won Pulitzer Prize awards for investigative journalism and other multicultural showings. I asked him how he became involved with the multicultural program at WVU, and he said the housing program that he's in encouraged him to become part of the community. Morgantown, West Virginia is essentially the WVU community, so I think it makes a lot of sense. His father was also in the military, so most of his childhood years were spent in Europe. He said being in the multicultural program is part of him and he was meant to be in Morgantown — he feels accepted.
He asked me where I'm from, and when I told him Connecticut, he said "My mom lives in Bridgeport with her husband!" I told him that I don't frequent Bridgeport often, but I enjoy the views of grafitti and the harbor while I'm on the train. There were more people here at this point, probably wondering what I was doing talking to this guy, but at the time, it wasn't about them. This man and I had a harmless and pleasant conversation which eventually faded. But this guy must not be able to converse with people regularly, or at least new people without fear of judgement or inadequence. But he wasn't; he wasn't inadequate. He might've had a past with drugs, which could be why he's not with his family anymore. But it's not up to me to speculate. To me, he's the nice man who has made his way in the multicultural program.
