When we were young, we learned about peer pressure. Our parents told us not to give in, and that we must be leaders rather than followers. As we get older, we find that peer pressure never really goes away; instead, it just takes a new form.

I often find myself leaning on friends and family members for advice when I have to make a difficult decision. Sometimes everyone seems to agree on what the “right decision” is, so, as many people do, I tend to take the advice and decide that way. I call this the adult form of peer pressure. I now recognize that, just as our parents taught us when we were kids, giving in is not always the best idea.

I’ve done some soul-searching and have realized that what everyone wants me to do isn’t always what I want to do. What works for someone else may not be what works for me.

I’m here to suggest that you do some of that soul-searching, too. When you have to make a tough choice, spend some time alone and reflect. Even though it may be helpful to take friends’ advice into consideration, be sure that you’re making the decision for the right reasons.

Those who try to make our decisions for us are usually just trying to help. Everyone is different, though, and what makes your friend happy may not make you happy. You are the only one who knows what’s best for you.

You are the only one who can control your happiness.

If you find that you are unhappy after making a decision, don’t be hard on yourself. Use it as a learning experience—we’ve all made mistakes, but each one has helped us get to where we are today. Follow your heart, and eventually you’ll end up in the right place.

Don’t let others judge you for the way you decide to live your life. At the end of the day, your happiness comes first. Go out there and find it!