It is the end of the semester, and I simply need to evaluate. I have needed to sit down, after a very long, yet very productive semester, and let my thoughts wander. While sitting in my last four-and-a-half Friday fashion class today until I return from winter break, I encountered realization that my invigorating schedule was coming to a halt, and it seemed so all-of-a-sudden.

With months filled with constant coffee shop study sessions and overnights at the library and Fashion Warehouse, with very little space to ask myself how I was doing, I recently started to realize that I have had very little “me time” throughout the course of this semester. All of a sudden I have a night to relax, and I truly do not know what to do with myself—as this time is not something I’ve been able to have for months. It’s an odd feeling, but much needed.

I must say, I have accepted the fact that I will never be the type of person to have a subtle schedule, as I always feel the need to maximize every moment of my time so I feel zero guilt over the entirety of my day. With this thought process, I am starting to learn that I need to implement time to myself in order to think clearly and go about my full schedule of tasks in the most productive way possible, without surviving off my two coffees each day to cover up the sleep I have missed.

This invigorating schedule, which is not over yet, has taught me the most plentiful amount of lessons. With my fear of regret over missing any time to be productive, I am happy to say I have done my absolute best this entire semester.

I cannot think of one moment where I could have studied harder or dug any deeper into my textbooks—as my textbooks have been read from top to bottom and my depleting sleep schedule can vouch for it.

What I am meaning to say is, with my immense dedication, I am fully aware of the pressure I put on myself to do my absolute best. Because of this, for the mistakes, I have encountered or possible mishaps on any assignments or tests, I need to let myself know I should not feel any regret.

I pushed myself to my absolute best with a schedule which shows it, and I am very proud of myself. I am aware of my tendency to be too hard on myself most of the time, as I am always my own worst critic, so letting myself move on from little mistakes from my first college semester is something I have to do—and you should too.

As the semester is coming to a close, my dedication to everything I set out to do will stand strong, no matter what extra whirlwinds happen throughout the rest of it. In less than a week, my first semester will be finished, and I cannot wait to sit down and evaluate, once again, and let myself know I did it.

I will have wholesomely completed the semester with every ounce of dedication I had in me.

I have simply needed to evaluate, and after putting thoughts on paper, I feel so much better. By setting aside time for myself to think about just that, myself, I am able to grasp an immense feeling of satisfactory and achievement.

The constant coffee shop study sessions might not end, but by laying out my constant thoughts, I will be able to go through these study sessions knowing I am accomplishing so much—and that my dedication will only uncover even more experiences for me to reflect on.

Here’s to a finalized first semester, and to the days ahead of self-reflection.